It is a heartbreaking experience when you realize that your mother is a narcissist. Narcissistic mothers are people who put their own needs and desires ahead of their children’s. They see their children as an extension of themselves rather than as individuals. A narcissistic mother can make life incredibly challenging for her children.
Adult children who were raised by narcissistic mothers suffer a great deal of trauma and constantly have to manage triggers. In this article, we’ll explore the 15 characteristics of a narcissistic mother to help you understand and recognize why you may be the way you are today.
She denies everything
A narcissistic mother will never accept blame for anything she’s done. She’ll deny everything and more than likely turn things around and direct the blame to her children. She will never admit she was wrong.
Constantly undermines you
There is no way that a narcissistic mother will praise you or give you support or encouragement in any achievement you’ve accomplished. She will find a way to undermine you and make it seem that your efforts were wasted or you are not as successful as you think you are.
They lack empathy
These women have 0 empathy for you, their family, or even their friends. They don’t care about your feelings or if anyone is hurt or sad. They do not have the capacity to show empathy to anyone.
Try to control your life
Most narcissists think they are in total control of their lives, but the fact is, they have absolutely no control over their own life which is why they try to control yours.
She manipulates your emotions
If she suspects you’re hurt or sad, she’ll make sure to manipulate your emotions to the point where you believe your feelings are no longer valid and are unwarranted.
She’s constantly belittling you
Narcissistic mothers are bullies, plain and simple, and they will go to great lengths to belittle you, put you down in front of others, even your friends, and make you feel worthless. This gives them power.
She uses guilt against you
This woman will guilt trip you into believing anything, regardless of how right or wrong. They will use guilt any chance they get if they feel they are losing power or control over you.
Shows little interest in your life
She doesn’t care about what’s happening in your life, be it your school work, your friends, your love life, etc. She has no interest in your achievements or successes either. If she showed interest, it would give the illusion that she cares, and she doesn’t.
She’s aggressive and sometimes physically violent
She is extremely aggressive, and this can sometimes turn into physical violence. Narcissists don’t know how to control or show their own emotions. Because of this lack of control, they turn to anger. Anger is a fear-based response.
Destroys your relationships
If she thinks you are happy or enjoying life, she’ll make sure to put a damper on that. She doesn’t want you to be happy. If you are, that’s because an outside force/person/thing has made you happy, which means she has lost control over you. She’ll have none of that.
She is emotionally abusive
She will hurt your feelings every turn and every chance she gets. She’ll make sure to remind you how stupid you are, how she regrets having you, etc. They thrive on bullying and hurting people. It gives them power as they are sure you will do everything you can to make things right for them.
She is very selfish
It’s all about her, and her needs, her happiness, etc. She expects everyone to do everything for her and she does nothing for anyone. She takes and takes and never gives back.
She’s never wrong
Don’t even try to tell her she’s wrong. The narcissistic mother is never wrong, even when she is. Admitting that she’s wrong will make her feel less of a person and give her less power over you. That will never happen.
She’s a liar
She’ll lie about everything, anything, and nothing as long as it makes her look good and you look bad. She feels no guilt or shame about lying, and if you even try to call her out on it, you lose.
Oblivious to other people’s feelings
You have feelings and emotions. Needs and desires. Too bad. She doesn’t care about any of your feelings or anyone else’s feelings. And she’ll say mean and hurtful things to embarrass you and could not care less about how that makes you feel, or anyone else. She’ll do that with anyone. It just doesn’t matter to her.
Were you raised by a narcissistic mother? Do any of these sound familiar? The problem with being raised by a woman like this is there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it or her. As an adult, you can choose to limit spending time with her or completely remove her from your life. Hurt people hurt people, so chances are, she was hurt as a young child and is projecting her pain and anger onto you. It’s important to know that you’re not the problem; she is.
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