Gaslighting is when someone messes with your feelings, making you feel all mixed up and unsure about what’s real. It usually happens in relationships where one person tries to control the other by messing with how they see things. It’s really important to notice the signs of gaslighting to keep your relationships healthy. Check out these 13 signs in the article below.
Denial and Deflection
People who gaslight often try to avoid responsibility by saying they didn’t do anything or by blaming the person they’re manipulating. For example, they might deny what they said, making you question if you remember things correctly.
They may also tell you, “You’re making things up,” making you feel like you’re exaggerating or imagining things. These tactics are meant to make you doubt yourself and feel confused about what really happened.
Trivializing Feelings
When someone is gaslighting you, they might make your feelings seem less important than they really are. They could say things like “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re overreacting,” making you feel like your emotions are too much or invalid.
This is a way for them to make you doubt yourself and question if your feelings are reasonable. It can make you lose confidence and think that your concerns aren’t important.
Contradictory Statements
People who gaslight often mess with the story of what happened, causing a lot of confusion. They might tell you something and later say they never said it, making you wonder if you remember things correctly.
This is on purpose – they want you to doubt your memory and be unsure about what happened. They do this so you rely more on what they say, making you feel confused and unsure about yourself.
Withholding Information
People who gaslight often don’t share important information with you on purpose. They want to keep you in the dark about important things, so you rely on them more and feel less confident about making decisions by yourself.
By controlling what you know, they try to make you more dependent on them, making it easier for them to influence how you think and act.
Projection
People who gaslight often blame you for the things they’re doing wrong. If they’re acting inappropriately, they might say you’re the one doing it. This makes you question yourself and feel unsure about your actions.
They do this to shift the focus away from their mistakes and make you feel guilty or confused about who you are. It’s a way for them to control the situation and make you doubt yourself.
Silent Treatment
When gaslighters use the silent treatment, it’s a way of emotionally hurting you. They purposely ignore you, making you feel like you’re invisible and not important enough for their attention.
This lack of communication messes with your emotions, making you feel rejected and unimportant in the relationship. It’s a hurtful tactic meant to manipulate your feelings and make you question your worth in the connection.
Undermining Your Abilities
Gaslighters make a habit of making your achievements and skills seem less important. They might say things like, “You can’t do anything right,” or “You’re lucky I’m here to help you.” This breaks down your confidence by making you doubt your abilities.
By constantly putting you down, they want you to become more reliant on them and feel like you’re incapable. It’s a way of slowly wearing away your self-esteem in the relationship.
Twisting the Truth
Gaslighters are good at changing the facts to match what they want you to believe. They might twist the details or tell the story in a way that supports what they want, even if it’s not true.
This can make you doubt your memory and question what’s real. They purposely mess with the truth to make it hard for you to trust your own understanding of things. It’s a way to confuse you and shake your confidence in knowing what really happened.
Isolation
Gaslighters try to cut off their victims from friends and family, making it tough for them to get support or validation from others. This isolation is a way to make the victim depend more on the gaslighter for emotional support.
By limiting contact with friends and family, the gaslighter gains more control and influence over the victim’s social life. This isolation can make the victim feel trapped and reliant on the gaslighter, making it harder for them to see the unhealthy situation they’re in.
Conditional Love
Gaslighters use love to control others. They show affection only when you do what they want, creating a pattern where you depend on their love when you meet their expectations. This makes you feel connected and valued, but it’s conditional.
It forms a cycle where you keep trying to please them to get that affection, even though it’s inconsistent. This manipulation through love allows the gaslighter to control how you act and feel.
Constant Criticism
Gaslighters have a habit of finding faults in every part of your life. They do this on purpose to make you feel like you’re not good enough and that you need their approval. By always pointing out what they think is wrong, they want you to depend on them for validation.
This constant negativity doesn’t just hurt your confidence; it also makes you question your abilities and value. It creates a cycle where you start thinking their approval is the only measure of your worth.
Playing the Victim
Gaslighters often act like they’re the ones who are suffering, diverting attention from their own actions. They paint a picture of themselves as victims, subtly putting blame on you or external factors. This can make you feel guilty or responsible for things that aren’t actually your fault.
By playing the victim, gaslighters avoid facing consequences for their behavior, using your empathy against you. This creates a situation where you might feel the need to apologize or make up for things that aren’t your fault, reinforcing their control over the relationship.
Gaslighting Over Time
Gaslighting doesn’t happen all at once. It’s a gradual process that happens slowly over time, often in hard-to-not notice ways. If you find yourself constantly questioning what’s real and doubting your own feelings, it’s important to see that this is a pattern.
The first step is realizing what’s going on. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals for support. Talking to someone you trust can help you see things more clearly and regain a sense of what’s real. Catching and addressing gaslighting early on is empowering and can help you set healthier boundaries in your relationships.
Conclusion
The first thing to do in order to break free from gaslighting is to recognize it. Trust your instincts, and don’t hesitate to get support from friends, family, or professionals if you think you’re a victim.
Healthy relationships are based on respect, trust, and open communication, so it’s important to prioritize your well-being. If you or someone you know is going through abuse, think about reaching out to a helpline or a mental health professional for help.
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