Once women reach a certain age, not only do our bodies change, and our hormones, but our moods go through some bizarre things too. Could this be a sign of a midlife crisis? Today, I want to answer the burning question, what is a midlife crisis?
We’re also going to discuss many other things around a midlife crisis, such as:
- How to determine if you’re having a midlife crisis?
- At what age do you have a midlife crisis?
- Does everyone have a midlife crisis?
So listen. Here we are. In midlife. Trying to navigate this the best way we know how. Unfortunately, many of us don’t know how. I feel ya, and I got you covered. Kind of.
Before we talk about what is a midlife crisis nonsense, I think it’s important to determine whether or not you’re actually having one.
Today we’re gonna talk an awful lot about:
- midlife crisis symptoms,
- midlife crisis behavior,
- how to get out of a midlife crisis and
- so much more.
(this article contains an affiliate link so if you make a purchase I may make a small commission-affiliate disclosure here)
What is a Midlife Crisis?
So, am I just getting old and cranky? Or maybe both? Or am I having a midlife crisis, for real? Chances are, it’s the latter. Things are different. Life is starting to feel weird, and so are you.
So what is a midlife crisis exactly?
Here’s the best definition I could find, from Forbes, on what is a midlife crisis. Honestly, this really nails it.
“A midlife crisis is a period or phase of life transition when a person begins to question the things that they have accomplished or achieved and whether those same things still provide a sense of fulfillment and meaning,” says Michael G. Wetter, Psy.
Source: Forbes.com
It’s a deep moment of self-reflection. Should I, could I, did I, do I still have time for, etc. And all those questions. We just question absolutely everything and that’s where the problem arises.
Doubting ourselves and our lives. That whole ‘what’s it all for’ and ‘is it too late’?
How to Determine if You’re Having a Midlife Crisis
I almost knew the exact moment I realized that I was having a midlife crisis. I had just left my abusive relationship, had just hit rock bottom, and was totally lost in this world. I was alone and scared and started to feel different.
Really different. It’s kinda hard to explain, but I think you know what I mean.
When you stop and question yourself, when you start having more ‘hmmm, wait, what’ moments, when you stop ‘giving a crap’ about a lot of things, and when you stop putting up with people’s nonsense, well…
Those are just a few midlife crisis examples of things we women go through.
In case you aren’t sure what I mean, I’m gonna go through 11 signs of a midlife crisis in a woman and see if you recognize yourself in any of them.
Now that we know what is a midlife crisis, let’s dive deeper into this.
Can You Have a Midlife Crisis at 30?
Or what about 35? Can you have a mid life crisis at 30 or 35? When exactly does this whole midlife crisis thing really start anyway?
I’ve done some research for you, and yes, you actually can have a mid life crisis at 35 or 30, or 40. Yes, 30 does seem young, but keep in mind some of us mature much faster than others. We go through life changes sooner, we age quicker. We’re not all built the same.
So in doing my research, you can actually go through a midlife crisis anywhere from 30-65. You can see that the midlife crisis age is a wide range, but I think it explains a lot to people who are struggling with some of the changes they are going through.
Ok, so now we know what is a midlife crisis and what age it can start; let’s get to the signs of a mc (midlife crisis).
What is a Midlife Crisis-11 Signs You’re Having One
What is a midlife crisis really look like, and what are the signs of one? Here are 11 signs you’re having one.
Now before we begin, don’t get too worried if you have one or all of these signs. As we reach midlife, a lot of things change, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are having an mc.
Throughout our entire lives, we change approximately every 7 years. You could just be going through simple life changes.
1 Feeling of anxiety
I’m going through this now at 60 years old. It’s weird, and I hate it, but it’s happening. Actually, I’m having little panic attacks that come right out of the blue and scare the poop out of me, not to mention they suck.
2 Feeling of emptiness
Emptiness is like you don’t feel worthy or fulfilled. It’s kinda like, you sit and often wonder, “What in the world am I here for.” You wonder if there’s something more you should be seeking. You wonder a lot of things.
Many women who go through midlife feel empty and unworthy, almost invisible if you will.
3 Sadness or loneliness
Much like #2, but sometimes you just get sad. Sometimes for no reason, sometimes because you feel like your life is half over, and you’re starting to get scared and sad about it. Regardless of how much joy and how many blessings you have in your life, sadness still shows up.
Don’t confuse sadness with depression, though, please. If you are feeling depressed and it’s been going on for a while, please talk to a professional and get help.
4 You get restless
You start feeling very unsettled and restless like you should be doing more or going places or something! Perhaps there’s a goal you haven’t achieved yet. Or maybe you are just feeling unsettled with your friends, job, and life in general.
You almost feel like there have been chains around you your entire life, and you’re ready to bust out of them. That kinda feeling.
5 Making changes in appearance
Sometimes drastic changes. You may have gone from being a brunette with long hair to chopping it all off and embracing your grey! Or maybe you tossed out all your boring clothes and are wearing more sassy clothes.
Whatever the case, you go, girl!!
I call it coming into your own. You’re not following any rules anymore. It’s all you, boo!!
6 Tripping down memory lane, a lot
You’re starting to think back to when you were a teenager in love with your first boyfriend. Or maybe that Christmas dinner when the kids were young and fun. It could be that you’re just thinking about your younger days more often, how you looked, what you did, who your friends were, etc.
But we’re reminiscing an awful lot, and sometimes it’s good, and sometimes the memories are sad.
7 Thinking of other men 😮
I’m not sure if this is just a midlife crisis thing, but let’s face it, if you’ve been making out with the same dude, aka your husband, for over 25 years, surely you’re gonna have thoughts about the dude who pumps your gas, maybe?
I think this is totally natural, to be honest, so don’t feel guilty or bad about that. I think it’s like testing the waters emotionally. Like how does it make us feel, kinda thing.
8 You lost your ‘gaf’ attitude
Meaning that you don’t gaf anymore about things that used to really get to you. You also don’t really gaf about a lot of frivolous and trivial stuff you and your friends used to chat about. Seems nothing really matters these days anymore, or at least, they don’t really bother you much.
This is a good symptom of a midlife crisis if you ask me!
9 You don’t feel sexy or worthy anymore
And you quite possibly could be comparing yourself to 25-year-olds. Please don’t do that. But suddenly, you feel ugly, old, fat, skinny, creepy, not sexy, or pretty. I mean, girl, we’re getting older, and we ain’t 25 anymore, but that doesn’t mean you still aren’t beautiful!
Of course, you are! I think women get more beautiful between the ages of 40 and 65 to be honest. We seem to glow differently.
10 Making radical changes in your life
I did this. At 52. I traded in my 25+ yr hairstyling career in for a freelance writer life, I got rid of 95% of my belongings and bought a one-way ticket to Guatemala. Talk about radical changes. Many men and women, during midlife, will make these crazy awesome radical changes.
You might really like this article I wrote about starting over after 50
How to Start Over at 50 With Nothing
Not mentioned here, I also noticed, and it’s not just me, that many midlife men and women tend to want to date younger women/men. I discuss this a lot more here. I’m not gonna lie. I dream of having a hot young man in my bed whenever however…ooph!
Would I actually date one, though? Not likely. But who knows!?
11 Gaining Weight
This is actually pretty normal-ish. People tend to be emotional eaters, and what happens when we do that? We gain weight.
When we feel sad or depressed or not our usual bubbly selves, we turn to food, and unfortunately, we aren’t chomping on celery sticks and broccoli. Nope. It’s french fries, cakes, donuts, ice cream, and cookies.
If this is happening to you, try to substitute those bad snacks for healthier options!
Does everyone have a midlife crisis?
According to HelpGuide.org:
In studies, only about 10 to 20 percent of adults claim to have experienced a midlife crisis. While the idea of a midlife crisis being an inevitable reality doesn’t hold much weight, some of us do face new stressors as we enter these years.
And if you’re wondering if men go through a midlife crisis, the answer is yes, though only about 10-20% actually admit to it.
What about those crazy physical changes??
As we grow older and our bodies start aging, there is some seriously crazy s*it that goes on with our bodies. Our girls start drooping, our skin gets crepey, and those wrinkles. Ah well.
For me, the biggest and hardest physical change was painful sex, but that happened after my full hysterectomy. I imagine this happens to many women, though, who went through, are going through, or finished going through menopause.
This was a tough one for me because, well, I kinda like having sex, but it became excruciatingly painful. For the longest time, I had no clue what was going on until my doc told me and sent me to the pharmacy to get moisturizer for my girl. Hell-O!! How did I not know about any of this?
Though it’s hard to find these things here in Guatemala, so I did some Googling and realized I can make my own moisturizer with plain old Coconut oil. Thank you, baby Jesus!
Are You Experiencing Midlife Crisis Behavior?
Now while I’ve only discussed 10 signs of a midlife crisis, I’m sure there are a million more. I love this description:
People who are having a midlife crisis are thought to be struggling with their own mortality and, somewhere during midlife, they ditch some of their responsibilities in favor of fun. That’s why the term “midlife crisis” often causes people to picture mistresses and sports cars.
Source : Verywellmind
Honestly, for me, I think it’s pretty easy to spot someone who is going through a mc. Just check out the clothes they wear, their attitudes, and the way they talk and present themselves. I gotta say, I feel that women who are going through this now have way more confidence in themselves than ever before.
The women who have that I don’t gaf attitude. Those are the ones! That’s the kind of midlife behavior I admire!!
How to Overcome Midlife Crisis
I recently wrote another article on mc. The link is just below. I realized that there wasn’t enough information from real straight-talking kinda people (like me) on this subject, so I thought I’d chime in.
I think it’s important to note that whatever you are experiencing is very normal, and you certainly aren’t alone even though you feel like you are.
For me, I found this to be a growing stage, and I embraced it, all of it, minus the effin panic attacks. UGH!!!
Learning to Embrace it All and Aging Gracefully
We’re not 25 anymore. I know, it’s sad. I think back to my nice tight butt and my perky boobs. My beautiful skin and the fact that nothing hurt back then (ie: joints, knees, muscles, shoulders, etc).
Life was beautiful and fun back then.
But that doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful and fun now! Actually, it can be even funner (ya, that’s a word)!! That whole don’t gaf attitude and the fact that I lost my ‘filter’ a long time ago make for some interesting conversations.
I miss my youth a lot, I’m not gonna lie and say, “Oh, getting old is great, and I’m all about aging gracefully”! I mean, I’m doing my best to age beautifully, but I’ll be honest, I wish I was 25 or 30 or even 35, but I do love the skin I’m in now too though.
I think I look pretty damn good for my age (60 next year!) and I’m taking the best care of myself now too. I quit smoking last year and I rarely drink, I eat well, and take lots of good vitamins and minerals.
You might like this article on best vitamins women over 50 should take daily.
You too can age gracefully or let old age take control of you. The choice is yours. The rest of your life can absolutely be the best of your life if you want it to. I’m totally loving this stage in my life.
So much so that I’ve become a life coach for midlife women. Please check out my self improvement site if you haven’t yet and see how I can help you love the skin you’re in, and make the best of midlife.
I hope you got a lot from this article on what is a midlife crisis and you share it with your peeps! It’s also good to know that it does end. When is anyone’s guess?
xo iva xo
