Before I begin, I’m sorry you’re here. I mean, you’re here reading this because your life is falling apart and I’m really truly sorry you are going through this right now. It sucks monkey balls. I’ve been here many times. I want to talk about what to do when your life falls apart and some things to think about while you’re going through it.
Grab your favourite beverage and let’s get to it…
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When your life falls apart
I think this has happened to me maybe 3 times. Or 4. I don’t really remember and this isn’t a pissing contest to see whose life has fallen apart more. The only reason why I shared that with you is because you need to know that I’ve been there. A lot! I write from experience, not research.
I remember being curled up in a ball crying “my life is falling apart and I just want to die”. Yes. I felt like that. Every single time. Because that’s exactly how many of us feel when we hit rock bottom. Like dying. Like it’s hopeless. Like why should we should we even bother anymore.
Hitting rock bottom is the darkest most desperate feeling ever. There are some days you literally feel like you can’t breathe. You want to throw up daily…..wait. That’s not what I want to talk about here. You already know how all that feels.
“Solutions babe. We’re here for solutions”
I got ya.
Why is my life falling apart?
Seriously. Why is my life falling apart?
It may seem like a million dollar question with no answers but I need you to stop and take a look at your life and all the choices you’ve made that have gotten you to where you are now.
Now I get for some of us, shit just happened that was totally out of our control (hello stupid covid). Many lost their jobs. Many lost family members. It was a year of great loss and great frustration for so many. It may have felt like your world was falling apart but the difference here was that pretty much everyone thought that in 2020.
But what about the rest of us? Those of us who weren’t directly affected by 2020 and our lives just went to hell. That actually happened to me in October of 2020. Let me tell you what happened because even if you follow me somewhat faithfully, you still may not know.
The day I hit rock bottom
Without getting too technical on you and too “business-y like” I run two websites. This one and my self help one, Amazing Me Movement. That’s the one that pays all my bills right now and pretty much supports me. It’s a very popular site with a quarter of a million views each month.
Now most of my views (traffic) comes from my Pinterest account. It’s a pretty popular and successful account. I’ve been sitting pretty for a while with this site and also working my ass off to grow this business.
And then on October 18th 2020 I woke up, checked my stats and earnings and numbers like I do every morning and I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was a solid line straight down to hell. All my traffic from Pinterest, and all my earnings literally disappeared overnight.
I was in shock.
After days and weeks of back and forth emails to Pinterest to find out what happened, no one had any answers and this was to be the new normal for my business. Nothing. 0. No visitors, no earnings. Nudda.
Hello rock bottom. Nice to see you again (it wasn’t my first time here).
When everything falls apart like that you are just numb. Speechless, helpless, hopeless and numb. This video from my YouTube channel, Women Blazing Trails, talks about how I had to start over with nothing and what rock bottom feels like and all that great stuff.
(don’t forget to hit that subscribe button while you’re there!)
What am I going to do with my life?
Like I seriously had no idea what the hell to do. I mean everything I worked so hard for was pretty much ripped away from me while I was sleeping. My entire empire. Gone in the blink of an eye.
What am I going to do with my life now?
There I sat at 58 yrs old, with a business that just went to hell, no money, no hope. Every day I felt like throwing up and I cried all day for a month. I had no clue what to do with my life. I had no answers and a million fucking questions.
But I eventually found the answers. A lot of them. I’m going to share with you now 10 ways to put your life back together after it falls apart.
When your life falls apart-10 ways to put it back together
The very first thing you need to do is this
1 Analyze the situation
This may sound like a no brainer but so many don’t do this. Dig deep and figure out just how bad things really are. Do you think you can recover from this in a month, 6 months, a year? How long will it take to resolve this catastrophic issue that is ruining your life? Do you know of others who have been through the same and survived (which brings us to #2)?
2 Reach out to others
I know I know. We hate asking for help. Swallow your pride. There is someone out there who has been through what you are going through and made it. Maybe a friend or family member or maybe an influencer online! Believe it or not, these people are more than happy to help.
3 Take time to grieve
Please. Take a week or two (remember I took a whole month) and cry your eyes out, curl up in a corner and sob hysterically, Punch pillows, scream at the air, become a hermit, you do your grieving however feels right and therapeutic for you. BUT don’t stay in that dark place. Take some time, not forever.
4 Write out your feelings
Take some time to journal. Actually you should aim to journal daily. Write out all the things you still have that you are grateful for and yes that will seem hard to do but try anyway. Sometimes when we write things out and then read them back later we can see it’s not as bad as we thought.
5 Be kind to yourself
Don’t beat yourself up. Whatever happened, no matter how horrible it is, and yes maybe it was your fault, this is how we learn. We grow and learn from our mistakes. They will make you stronger. Do something nice for yourself, no matter how little it is. Be kind to yourself.
6 Pull all your resources together
Whether that be people or knowledge or skills, pull all your resources together to see if you can come up with some kind of plan or solution for this issue you are dealing with right now. Find someone who can help you or maybe it’s time to learn something new to get yourself out of this mess.
7 Get out and walk more
Yes you need to get outside in the fresh air, clear your mind and your head and walk. It’s easy to fall into a depression when your life falls apart but you have to make sure you avoid that. Exercising and getting out and walking is a great way to do that. You still need to take care of your physical health which in turn, will help your mental health.
8 Go volunteer
There is no better way to heal and forget your troubles than to go help others. Volunteering is an amazing way to grow and put all your troubles and sorrows away. It’s also a great way to meet new people. You never know who you are going to meet that can completely change your world.
9 Make a plan
You need to start figuring out how to dig your way out of this mess. Yes maybe your life is falling apart but it doesn’t have to fall to the ground never to be revived again. It’s up to you to bring it back to ‘life’, if you will. Write out what all your troubles are and day by day take small action steps to a brighter happier future.
If it’s a financial issue you are dealing with, there are ways to get out of financial ruins. Talk to a professional about this if you can.
10 Dump toxic people and things
This probably should have been #1. Did toxic things, people or habits put you in the position you are in? It might be time to take inventory of your life and see who and what must go and who and what can stay. It’s ok to remove toxic people from your life. Sometimes it’s mandatory! When your life falls apart you have to wonder if someone else might have had a hand in it.
Self help resources for you
Please do take a minute or two to check out my mini self help eBook library. There just might be a book that resonates with you and that can help you get out of rock bottom and live the life you deserve.
Click here to see the books or the image below.
What to do when your life falls apart
First and foremost, and after the grieving stage, you have to remember that everything is temporary, the good and the bad. What seems like an impossible uphill battle at the moment might actually be a blessing in disguise.
Follow the steps above to help you when your life’s falling apart.
I can look back on my life and all the times my life fell apart and all the ways I put it back together again and I’m no super human. I’m a normal gal just like you. I just knew that I didn’t want to stay in rock bottom and I wanted a better life. I dug deep and found courage, determination and persistence.
I know you can too!
Stay calm, I know, easier said than done, and stay focused on solutions meaning, don’t wallow in self pity forever. Pull up your big girl panties and get to work on your new life!
You’re gonna be ok babe. I promise!
xo iva xo