Forgiving Others is Hard, I Get ItYou’ve been hurt. I understand. Really, I do. You may have been hurt by someone you love and trusted. Haven’t we all? It’s sad and heartbreaking. But you don’t have to carry that hurt with you for the rest of your life, nor do you have to hold onto all that anger and feelings of betrayal either. As a matter of fact, it’s best for you to let go and move on from all that. So how do we do that? Forgive, let go, and move on. I’ll admit it’s not easy, but I’ll tell you it’s not only worth it but mandatory for your mental health, well-being, and inner peace. This great article from the Mayo Clinic really dives deep into forgiveness. I think you might like it.
How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt YouMany of us have no idea how to forgive someone who hurt us. We want to brush it under the rug and hope the pain and the memories of them go away, but it doesn’t work like that. There’s a great quote by Nikita Gill that goes something like this:
If you don’t heal what hurt you, you will bleed all over those who didn’t cut you. Nikita GillThis is one of the most profound and powerful quotes I’ve ever read. Healing is so important for our growth, inner peace, and mental health. It’s also crucial to do so to move forward in future relationships to ensure they are healthy. I will share 8 tips with you now on how to forgive others, let go, and move on.
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Forgiving others – 8 tips to help you find freedom from painI hope these tips help you. They’ve helped me become the compassionate and loving person I am today. I totally understand how difficult it can be forgiving others, but I can’t stress enough how important it is for you. Take what you want and leave the rest.
1 We forgive others for us, not for themSo many people say, “Oh, they don’t deserve my forgiveness,” and they’re not wrong. But you deserve the peace and freedom that comes with forgiving others. We don’t do it for them, we do it for ourselves. In fact, they don’t even ever have to know that you have forgiven them. It’s none of their business. When you think of forgiving someone who hurt you, remind yourself that you are doing it for YOU.
2 It’s important to let go of the past to move forwardGripping on to the past and all the hurt, pain, and anger associated with it keeps us stuck there. We don’t live there anymore. I understand how much it hurts and how hard it can be to let go, but you have to. Forgiving others who hurt you and releasing all that pain is the best way to do so.
3 Have a funeral for themWhile this may sound rather morbid, it’s powerful and super effective. If you take some time to hold a small funeral for them, say your goodbyes, bury them (not literally…haha), and then spend some time alone afterward to grieve a little, think about some of the good times you shared with this person, and move on. When we bury loved ones, we think about the good times, not the bad. Do the same with this person without spending too much time doing this. You’ll feel so much better after.
4 Write a forgiveness letter/truth letterWriting is so therapeutic. It’s an excellent way to express all your deep, dark thoughts in a safe space. I can’t count how many truth letters I’ve written in the past 20 years. A truth (forgiveness) letter is written to the person who hurt you but never gets delivered. Please don’t deliver it. This is your safe space to release all your anger and hurt on paper. Pour it all out. It could be one page, it could be 20 pages. It doesn’t matter how long it is; just write it out.
5 Hurt people hurt peopleIt’s so important to remember this: hurt people hurt people. And none of it is your fault. When people have anger and built-up pain, they lash out at other people. Remember that you did nothing wrong to deserve this treatment (whatever they did to you) and that they just need healing. This will help you move forward in forgiving others.
6 Write yourself a love letterWhen someone hurts us, we tend to think it’s all our fault, and we beat ourselves up for letting them mistreat us or hurt us. Our self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence get shot down. It’s pretty normal for all that to happen. Write yourself a love letter and remind yourself how truly amazing you are. That you are worthy of love and joy/happiness, leave little post-it notes everywhere to reinforce these new affirmations of how awesome you are.
7 Send them loveNext time you have a negative thought about them or the pain they caused you, stop it immediately and just send them love. Yes, it’s hard to do this, especially when we are so hurt, but it’s so important to your healing to replace feelings of anger with compassion. You can think something like this: I’m sorry you are so hurt inside, and I hope one day you heal. I am sending you healing love. And then just let it go.
8 Remember you deserve joyHolding on to pain, hurt, and anger from the past is robbing you of all the joy you deserve to have today. You don’t deserve to live a life of misery and sadness because of your past. You need to let it go and move forward, allowing new and better opportunities to appear in your life. Forgiving others is one way of doing this. Forgive them, and let go.