You’re out on a date, feeling pretty good about the guy, and maybe even thinking about date number two. Then he pulls something so disgusting you start calculating how fast you can gulp down your drink, pay your half, and gtfo.
Maybe he snaps at the server. Maybe you mention that you like to go to bed early, and he somehow turns it into a cringe sexual joke. Or maybe he even picked his nose at the table!
Attraction can disappear in a heartbeat the second a man shows you who he really is. We all have our own dealbreakers, but these ten things will make a woman lose interest faster than almost anything else.
As a woman over 60, I have no time for men who do any of these things. While I’m still open to dating and finding Mr. Ok for Me, I’m not settling anymore.
10 things that turn women off
Here is my list of the 10 things that turn women off, though I’m sure there are 10 more. I’ll add a few more deal-breakers at the end of this article.
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Talking About Himself Without Asking a Single Question About You
Are you done yet?
He’s covered his job, his car, his last trip, and that time he almost bought a restaurant. Meanwhile, he hasn’t asked you one damn thing about your life. This grinds on my nerves more than you can imagine.
You could leave your purse on the chair, go home, and he’d probably keep talking for another twenty minutes before noticing you were gone.
It’s great when a man is open and has stories, but a conversation needs to be two-way. If he’s actually interested in you, he should be curious, no? Nobody wants to sit through an evening listening to someone’s autobiography.
Being Rude to Waiters and Service Workers
Hard no!
He’s all sweet and charming with you, but the second something goes wrong with his food or order at the restaurant, he starts snapping at the server.
Well, that tells you everything you need to know.
Watching a grown man talk down to a worker is disgusting, and it makes you wonder how long until he turns that tone on you. Good manners still count when things don’t go perfectly.
Turning Every Single Conversation Sexual
Ick.
Flirting is fun when it’s mutual. But when every single innocent comment gets turned into a dirty joke, it gets exhausting fast, not to mention it’s borderline disturbing.
Can we just have one normal conversation, please?
Constant sexual remarks make a woman feel like he’s only after one thing. You might have been attracted to him five minutes ago, but being pushed like that takes all the fun out of it. Give the woman room to breathe so she actually wants to flirt with you.
Constantly Ranting About His Ex
Snoozefest. zzzzzzz
Look, most of us have a past. Exes naturally pop up in conversation eventually, and that’s fine.
But if every single topic circles back to what a nightmare his ex was, it’s time to run. She ruined his life; she took everything, and somehow every woman he’s ever dated was the problem.
You quickly realize there’s zero emotional room in his life for a new relationship when he’s still burning that much energy on the old one. We can have compassion for what someone went through, but nobody wants to spend every date listening to the same ‘she did me wrong’ talk.
Being Glued to His Phone
Ah, hell no!
You’re right in the middle of telling a story when he picks up his phone and starts scrolling. He nods, gives you a fake “uh-huh,” and then asks a question you answered thirty seconds ago.
Fantastic. I can’t believe I wasted makeup and hairspray for this.
An urgent call or a quick text happens. We all have busy lives. But repeatedly checking notifications while someone is actively talking to you sends a crystal-clear message: you aren’t that interesting. Hard to build attraction when you’re competing with a screen.
Bragging About Money, Status, or Other Women
Please, shut up now.
There’s a huge difference between sharing something you’re proud of and spending the whole night trying to prove how impressive you are.
The price of his watch. The big shots he knows. The women who are supposedly blowing up his phone. Cringe.
After a while, you check out and start wondering how your cats are doing at home. A man who is genuinely confident doesn’t need to put a price tag on everything he owns, nor does he need to remind you how lucky you are to sit across from him.
Drinking Too Much or Getting Drunk on the First Date
Are you kidding me right now?
Having a drink or two to take the edge off is completely fine. But when he’s slamming them back like it’s a college party and getting visibly tipsy before the food even arrives, the red flags pop right up. Especially when his dating profile said “Light drinker”.
Slurring his words, losing his filter, or getting loud and messy on date one isn’t fun, and it’s gross.
It shows a total lack of self-control, and suddenly you’re stuck wondering if you’re going to have to babysit a grown man on a first date. If he can’t pace himself when he’s trying to make a good first impression, it tells you plenty about what’s to come in the future.
Getting Jealous and Possessive Way Too Fast
Whoa, dude, I’m not your possession.
You’ve been on two dates, and he’s already cross-examining you about who’s texting your phone.
Why didn’t you answer earlier? Who were you having lunch with? Why are you going out with your friends instead of seeing me?
That red flag pops up fast. Having your own life – friends, pets, hobbies, quiet time – doesn’t vanish just because you started talking to a guy. If he’s already trying to manage your schedule before you’ve even decided if you like him, it’s an instant turn-off.
Pushing When She Says No
No means no – back off!
She says she doesn’t want another drink, so he orders one anyway. She says she’s busy, and he keeps nagging her to change her plans. She says she wants to take things slow, and he treats it like an opening negotiation.
A woman needs to know her boundaries are respected without a fight. If saying “no” leads to sulking, pressure, or five more attempts to change her mind, she’s out. Respecting a simple boundary shouldn’t be that complicated.
Being Negative About Absolutely Everything
UGH!
The restaurant is too loud, the food is overpriced, his job is a nightmare, and people these days are just the worst.
By the time the cheque comes, you feel like you’ve aged ten years.
Everyone needs to vent sometimes, and nobody expects fake sunshine 24/7. But there’s a big difference between having a rough day and treating complaining like a full-time hobby. Constant negativity is mentally exhausting. You want to look forward to seeing someone, not feel like you need to smudge yourself first.
A few more things!
- Emotional immaturity
- Lack of hygiene
- Flirting with the waitress/other women while on a date
- No relationship with family/kids
When the Spark Is Gone
A guy can be handsome and look great on paper, but his behaviour determines whether he gets another hour of your time. Being heard, treated with real consideration, and actually having fun together matters a million times more than a fancy watch or a smooth line.
You never owe anyone a second date just because the first ten minutes seemed promising. Pay attention to how they treat others, even animals. It tells you everything you need to know.
What did I miss? What’s one thing that instantly turns you off? Drop it down in the comments below!
