If you’re single or recently divorced and back on the dating scene, you probably have a different wish list these days. Sure, a handsome face is nice. But does he listen? Does he tell the truth? Can he handle hearing “no” without turning it into a whole production?
The things that impressed us at 25 might not do much for us now. We’ve had relationships, learned a few lessons the hard way, and figured out what we absolutely will not do again.
We still want romance. We still want butterflies. We’d just like those butterflies to come with honesty, clean teeth, and a little common sense.
Here are 10 things women over 50 want in a man. And honestly? Plenty of women of every age will resonate with this list too!!
10 Things Women over 50 Want in a Man
Everyone has her own idea of a good partner. Maybe you want someone who loves to travel. Maybe you want someone happy puttering around the garden with you and the dogs.
But when it comes to the everyday stuff that makes a relationship worth having, these are pretty high on my list.
The Truth, Please
If your dating profile photo is from 2007, we need to talk.
Please be honest about your age, your relationship status, your habits, and what you’re actually looking for. If you smoke, say you smoke. If you don’t want a relationship, say that. And if you’re still married, good grief, get off my screen.
Nobody wants to spend three weeks getting to know someone only to discover half his story was made up. We don’t need a perfect man. We do need to know who we’re having dinner with.
A Little Romance and Affection
Yes, we still want you to hold our hand. Yes, we still like flowers. And a kiss in the kitchen while we’re making dinner? Absolutely.
Being in our 50s doesn’t mean we’ve lost interest in feeling wanted (or sex!).
Romance doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Send a sweet text. Plan a date once in a while. Remember something we mentioned and ask us about it later.
And please keep doing those things after the first month. We liked them. That’s partly why there was a second month.
Financial Stability
You don’t need a yacht. Most of us would be perfectly happy if you could pay your bills and live within your means.
Life happens. Divorce, illness, job loss, and family responsibilities can knock anyone’s finances sideways. Having less money doesn’t make someone a bad partner.
But there’s a difference between going through a rough patch and expecting your new girlfriend to fund your life.
We want someone honest about money and who takes responsibility for his finances. Dating shouldn’t come with a surprise loan application.
Good Hygiene
Clean clothes. Brushed teeth. Deodorant. A proper shower. I wish this didn’t need its own section, but apparently it does.
You don’t need an expensive wardrobe or a bathroom full of fancy products. Just make an effort to look after yourself, especially if we’re meeting for a date.
And go easy on the cologne. We’d like to smell you when we hug you, not when you pull into the parking lot.
Someone Who Actually Listens
You know what’s attractive? A man who remembers something you told him.
He asks how your appointment went. He remembers your dog’s name. He lets you finish a story without grabbing his phone or interrupting to tell you how he would have handled everything better.
We want to hear about his life, too. That’s the whole point of getting to know each other.
But if we’ve spent an entire dinner hearing about his job, his ex, and his new barbecue, and he hasn’t asked us one question, we’re probably ready for the bill.
A Good Sense of Humor
Please make us laugh. Life gives us enough things to worry about, and it’s lovely to spend time with someone we can be silly with.
You don’t have to perform a comedy routine over dinner. Being able to laugh at a disastrous recipe, a wrong turn, or your own terrible dancing will do nicely.
But making jokes at our expense and then saying, “Can’t you take a joke?” gets old fast.
Give me a man who can laugh with me when everything goes a little sideways. We’ll have plenty of opportunities.
A Soft Spot for Animals
Okay, this one is especially important to me. There are dogs and cats involved in my life, and they aren’t going anywhere.
You don’t have to stop and greet every dog on the street with me, although that would certainly speed things along in the romance department.
But you do need to treat animals kindly and understand why they matter to me.
If you’re already annoyed by a little fur on your pants, you’re not the one.
A Conversation Worth Staying Up For
Have you ever sat talking with someone and suddenly realized it was midnight? That. More of that, please.
You don’t need a fancy degree or a head full of impressive facts. Be curious. Have interests. Tell us what you think, and be interested in what we think, too.
We can talk about places we’d love to visit, something ridiculous we read, our faith, our families, or whether either of us could survive a week without coffee.
It’s wonderful to have physical chemistry with someone. It’s even better when you also love talking to him.
Kindness, Even When Nobody’s Watching
How does he treat the server when his order comes out wrong? What does he say about people who can’t do anything for him? Is he patient when someone needs a little extra help?
Those things matter.
Being charming on a date is easy enough. We want to know what he’s like when he’s tired, inconvenienced, or having a lousy day.
And kindness doesn’t always need a grand gesture. Sometimes it’s offering to carry something heavy or checking in because he knows you’ve had a rough week. That stuff stays with you.
Respect Without an Argument
If we say no, we expect that to be enough. If we have a different opinion, we expect to be able to say it.
We have friends, interests, routines, and lives we’ve spent years building. Getting into a relationship doesn’t mean giving all of that up.
A man doesn’t have to agree with every decision we make. But he does need to speak to us respectfully and take our feelings seriously.
By this age, most of us have already had enough practice explaining why something hurt. We’d appreciate someone who listens the first time.
What’s on Your List?
I still think there’s something lovely about meeting someone who makes you excited to check your phone or get dressed up for dinner.
I’d just like to enjoy that excitement without wondering whether he’s telling the truth or how soon he’ll ask to borrow money.
Give me honesty, affection, a good laugh, and someone who’s kind to my animals, and we’re off to a pretty good start.
What do you look for in a man these days? And what’s something you absolutely won’t put up with anymore? Let me know in the comments.
