The older I get, the more I notice how much my priorities have changed. Things I once worried about barely get a second thought now, while things I used to take for granted mean a whole lot more.
At 64, I still have goals, bills, and days when I wonder what the hell I’m doing but I’m getting clearer about what matters most in life and what deserves my time and attention. I’m also hyper-aware of what certainly doesn’t need my attention anymore, and that makes the biggest difference.
What Matters Most in Life?
Your answer might be different at 60 than it was at 30. Careers, relationships, health problems, and a few hard lessons have a way of changing what you value.
For me, what matters most in life includes being healthy and strong, having people around I can count on, and making time for things that bring me joy.
Here are ten things I’ve come to appreciate more as I get older.
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My health
When I reached my 60s, my body changed, a lot. It became increasingly difficult to do things I used to do with ease. It really made me aware of my health and that it’s more important now than ever to take care of it.
My recent back pain has been a pretty unpleasant reminder of that. Walking the dog and doing ordinary things around the house suddenly became hard to do and left me feeling rather helpless and very dependent on others.
When I think about what matters most in life, being able to manage my daily needs is high on the list. I want to keep doing the things I enjoy without every little task becoming a struggle.
Spending time with people I love
When someone you love lives far away, you learn how much a visit can mean. Having them there for coffee, dinner, or a completely ordinary afternoon becomes something you wish you could have more often.
I felt that when my son visited me here in Guatemala and then went home. I loved having him here, and I missed him when he left. A lot!
As we get older, coordinating time together can still be difficult but those visits, phone calls, and afternoons together become worth making an effort for.
Having enough money to cover my needs
There is a lot to be said for being able to pay your bills without feeling sick when you open them. Groceries, housing, medication, and unexpected expenses can feel overwhelming when money is tight.
I’m not retired yet and I still have to work hard in my online business to make a living and have enough to pay for everything.
Money surely is what matters most in life because when you don’t have enough it affects your daily comfort and choices.
Many seniors can’t even afford to retire because they have no savings and the cost of living has increased considerably.
A safe and comfortable home
The older I get, the more I appreciate coming home to a place that I can call home and where I can relax. Somewhere I can put my things down, make a cup of tea, and feel comfortable being myself.
A home doesn’t have to be big, expensive, or perfectly decorated to give you that feeling. A comfortable chair, familiar surroundings, and a decent night’s sleep can mean a great deal.
You also become more aware of what makes daily life easier. A home that suits the way you actually live is worth far more than one that only looks good in pictures.
Friends who actually show up
Someone who checks in when you’re having a rough time becomes pretty special. So does the friend who follows through when they say they’ll help or makes time to see you without leaving all the arranging to you.
By this age, we’re done with toxic friendships and continually giving to takers who never give back. We now want and cherish real meaningful friendships.
I appreciate friends I can laugh with, be honest with, and count on. We don’t have to speak every day, but it matters that we make an effort for each other.
Doing things I enjoy while I’m still able to
Age has a funny way of sneaking up on us and limiting our abilities. I once used to hike long and far and high, walking across swing bridges hundreds of feet in the air. Not anymore.
I can look back now and see some of the things I used to be able to do and did often that I no longer can.
This makes me appreciate all the things I still can do because I know one day, I may not have the ability to for whatever reason. Things like learning a new language, sewing, playing with my dog.
Having something to look forward to
I like having a reason to get up in the morning. Writing, making videos, and helping animals give me things to work on and care about.
That feeling can come from all kinds of places. Looking after a garden, volunteering, helping a neighbour, or learning something new can give your days some direction.
And having something to look forward to matters, too. Even a lunch date or a small project you’re excited to finish can make a difference to how the week feels.
Speaking honestly instead of trying to make everyone happy
There used to be a time I was a people pleaser and did and said everything to make everyone else happy, completely sacrificing my own happiness. Not anymore.
I’m really good at being honest about what I want, what I can manage, and what doesn’t work for me. I’ve learned to say no and set boundaries in order to protect my inner peace and joy.
You can be considerate and still say you’re unavailable. You can care about someone and have a different opinion. Those are useful things to remember before you hear yourself saying yes again.
Making amends with people I’ve hurt
By the time you reach your sixties, you’ve probably said or done a few things you wish you could take back. I doubt many of us get this far without having hurt someone.
Getting older can make those moments feel more important to address. If there’s an apology you owe, it may be worth thinking about whether you can offer it sincerely, without excuses or an expectation of being forgiven.
Some relationships won’t be repaired, and reaching out won’t always be appropriate but being honest about your part and making an effort is still something you can do.
Enjoying quiet time without needing to be around people all the time
There’s something so wonderful about being home with nothing you have to get ready for. You can read, have your coffee, sit with the animals, or spend an afternoon doing whatever you feel like doing.
I still enjoy company, but I also appreciate time when I don’t have to engage in or force a conversation. Having nothing on my calendar feels pretty darn good.
The older I get, the less I feel the need to fill every quiet moment. Sometimes I’m perfectly happy where I am, enjoying my own company.
Final thoughts on what matters most in life
Your priorities may look different from mine, but I suspect most of us can name something we value more now than we did twenty years ago.
For me, it’s all the little things and most of all, just being alive.
What matters most in life to you now, and has that changed as you’ve gotten older?
I think the biggest things for me is peace of mind, not getting caught up in drama and my health.
