Narcissism is a personality disorder that can make life difficult for the people around them. Dealing with a narcissist can be an uphill battle, but it’s not impossible. Whether it’s a partner, friend, or family member, the traits of a narcissist can be highly problematic when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships with them.
But there are ways to deal with them effectively without losing your sanity. If you’re struggling to cope with a narcissistic person in your life, these ten tips can help.
Signs of a Narcissist
It’s first important to know and be able to recognize the signs of a narcissist. Sadly, many of us still are unsure if our partner truly is a narcissist or ‘just having a bad day.’ We often make excuses for their behavior because we love them and have tolerated their behavior for so long it’s become our normal.
Here are a few signs of a narcissist that you should pay attention to:
- they lack empathy
- grandiose sense of self-importance
- defer all blame onto their partners
- refuse to accept responsibility for wrongdoings
- arrogant
- belittling and bullying you constantly
Here’s a really good article from Healthline that you should check out.
How do we end up in a narcissistic abuse cycle?
Many of us have been raised by narcissists, and that’s all we know. The pattern will keep repeating itself, and you end up in a narcissistic abuse cycle. Dealing with a narcissist has been our lifelong pattern.
It’s important to end the cycle, but it starts with you and getting help. This is a very helpful and informative article that will explain the narcissistic abuse cycle and how to stop it.
How many types of narcissism are there?
According to Verywellhealth, there are seven types of narcissists.
- Overt – classic narcissist/focused on the sense of entitlement
- Covert – closet narcissism/more subtle behaviors
- Antagonistic – determined to come out on top, always
- Communal – may appear selfless but looking for praise
- Malignant – the most severe form of narcissism
- Adaptive, and – refer to article
- Maladaptive – refer to the article above
Dealing With a Narcissist – 10 Effective Tips to Help You
If you find yourself stuck in a relationship with someone who displays narcissistic personality disorder NPD and can’t see any way out, these tips will teach you how to deal with a narcissist.
It may be terrifying at first to start implementing some of these tips but it’s important for your well-being and mental health. Leaving is not always an option for some, but you do have a voice and can start laying down some boundaries and working on your self-worth.
Set Boundaries
One of the most important things to do when dealing with a narcissist is to set clear boundaries. Establishing what is and isn’t acceptable behavior helps to prevent the narcissist from pushing your boundaries and exploiting your vulnerabilities.
Narcissists don’t do well with boundaries, so sticking to yours is of the utmost importance. If you let your guard down, you will go right back to square one with them, and they will never take you seriously.
Sit down and have a genuine conversation with them, let them know what your new boundaries are, and ask them to please respect them. When they don’t, you simply walk away.
Don’t Engage in Arguments
Narcissists thrive on conflict and will often go out of their way to start arguments. Don’t fall into the trap of engaging in these arguments, as it only fuels their ego. Instead, try to calmly state your point of view and then disengage from the conversation.
There’s a great quote that goes:
Arguing with a fool only proves there are two.
Doris M. Smith
A heated battle will go nowhere as the narcissist is determined to win, meaning, in the end, you’ll lose every time. Simply walk away.
Don’t Take it Personally
Narcissists tend to have an inflated opinion of themselves and believe they are superior to everyone. If you feel you are being attacked by your narcissistic spouse, don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Don’t take their behavior personally or allow their snide comments to affect your self-esteem. Dealing with a narcissist will mean you need to have thick skin and let their hurtful words roll off your back.
Don’t Enable Them
Narcissists have a way of manipulating others to get what they want. Don’t enable their behavior by giving in to their demands or allowing them to use you for their own gain. Be firm in your boundaries and assertive in your communication.
If you continue to enable their toxic and manipulative behavior, they will always have the upper hand and believe they have more power and control over you. It’s important not to let that happen to you.
Don’t Lose Yourself
One of the biggest challenges of dealing with a narcissist is the risk of losing your sense of self. The constant criticism, gaslighting, and manipulation can wear you down and make you doubt yourself. Remember to stay true to yourself and not compromise your values or beliefs.
One helpful tip is to journal your feelings and maybe even write yourself a love letter, reminding you how awesome you really are. It’s important to honor and love yourself, regardless of how hard it is.
Seek Support
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and extremely isolating. Seek the support of friends, therapists, or support groups to help you cope with the effects of their behavior on your life.
You can’t do this alone, and you shouldn’t have to. Help is available. There are also free helplines available if you are feeling depressed, worthless, lonely, or even suicidal. Reach out to help.
Stay Calm and Composed
Narcissists tend to get under your skin with their relentless criticism and put-downs. It’s crucial to stay calm and composed in your interactions with them. This helps to prevent them from getting the reaction they want and keeps you in control of the situation.
When dealing with a narcissist, the last thing you want to do is feed their ego and anger. When they start up, you stay calm and walk away.
Focus on the Positive
It’s easy to get bogged down in the negativity that a narcissist brings into your life. Instead, focus on the positive aspects and people in your life. This can help shift your mindset and improve your overall well-being.
And while this may seem really hard to do, it’s not impossible. Journaling is a great way to focus on all the good things you have in your life. Try to keep a daily reflection journal to help stay grounded.
Cut Your Losses
Sometimes, dealing with a narcissist is simply not worth the effort. If the relationship is causing you stress, anxiety, or unhappiness, consider cutting your losses and walking away.
If you have a narcissistic boss, it may be time to look for a new job or create your own if you can! If it’s a narcissistic husband/wife you are dealing with, it may be time to end this toxic relationship and move on. Hard to do, yes. Impossible, no.
Practice Self-Care
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally taxing. Oftentimes, we get so wrapped up in the narcissistic abuse that we forget who we are and all the things that bring us joy. It’s so crucial to take care of yourself.
Practice self-care by engaging in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. This can help you restore balance and find inner peace amidst the chaos.
Dealing With a Narcissist Alone
Many of us feel alone while dealing with a narcissist. Knowing that you aren’t alone and help is available is important. Friends and family are happy to help, but they don’t know that you need help if you don’t reach out and ask.
It may seem like a daunting chore, but in the end, you’ll be so happy and relieved that help is on the way. You’re not alone and don’t have to go through it alone.
Narcissistic Abuse is Serious
The long-term effects of dealing with a narcissist are more damaging than people realize. If and when you ever leave your narcissistic partner, it will take years to undo all the damage they have caused you.
Many people leave one toxic relationship and walk right into another. Healing from narcissistic abuse is crucial before starting a new relationship. You must heal and learn to love yourself properly before allowing a new partner into your life.
Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging experience, but by implementing these ten tips, you can take control of the situation and prevent their behavior from negatively impacting your life.
While healing from narcissistic abuse may seem hopeless, it’s not. It’s important to take the time to heal from all the damage they’ve done.
Remember to set boundaries, seek support, practice self-care, and not let their behavior define you. Stay calm, composed, and true to yourself – you can emerge from this experience stronger, more resilient, and with greater inner peace.
