At some point in our lives, we find ourselves stuck in a place—a rut, if you will—that we can’t seem to get out of. We know there is more to this life than we’re experiencing now, but how do we get there?
Feeling stuck in life happens to all of us. It’s that feeling of being uncertain about your future or being unsatisfied with where you are in life. And it’s a shitty feeling.
I find that when this happens to me, I have 0 motivation, desire, or drive. My tank is empty. I just want to play with puppies and kittens all day.
The problem with that is it doesn’t pay the bills.
The 7-Year Life Cycle
They say that we go through cycles in life every 7 years where we get antsy and need something to change. You can read more about that here if you want (it’s actually a really good article).
However, it seems that my life cycles every year or two. I feel like something has to give, change, or get better, or I need to work harder or work less.
My mind goes a million miles an hour, and it never stops. I always feel like I’m on the precipice of something big; I just don’t know what.
This is when I need to sit my butt down and do some soul-searching. When I get to this point in life, these are some of the questions I ask myself.
It’s very helpful to get out a pen and paper and write out your answers to each question. I promise this will give you more clarity, focus, and lots of a-ha moments.
20 Questions to Ask Yourself If You’re Feeling Stuck in Life
Feeling stuck in life can make you feel numb and lost, but if you ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly, you’ll be ok.1 What do I want to achieve in life?
It’s important to be clear on your goals in order to move forward. What have you achieved so far? What are some of the things you haven’t achieved that are high on your priority list?
Having and setting goals is crucial to success and ultimate happiness.
2 What are my strengths and weaknesses?
Knowing what you’re good at and where you need improvement can help you make better decisions. Once you determine these two things, you will be more prepared to set realistic goals.
Is there a weakness you can work on to help you reach goals or make you a more confident, better human being?
3 What are my values?
Understanding your values can help you make choices that align with your beliefs. Are you not giving enough time and attention to the things that matter the most to you?
Too often, we sacrifice our values and needs for others. Always remember, you come first.
4 What’s holding me back?
Is it fear, lack of resources, or something else? Find out what’s preventing you from moving forward. When we take the time to dig deep to see what’s really holding us back, we often find that it’s just fear or procrastination.
Fear is irrational, and procrastination keeps you last in the race.
5 Who do I look up to?
Think about who you admire and what qualities they have. How can you incorporate those qualities into your own life? Is it a colleague or maybe even a family member? Use their successes and strengths to motivate you to start making changes.
I love listening to and watching motivational videos on YouTube. Those are what lights the fire under my butt.
6 What makes me happy?
Think about what activities or things bring you joy and how to incorporate more of them into your life. So many of us give up our own happiness to make other people happy.
You need to stop doing that. Your happiness is of the utmost importance.
7 What am I passionate about?
Figure out all the things you are most passionate about and explore ways to turn them into a career or hobby. You won’t find joy in repeatedly doing things that don’t bring you joy.
I always tell people that someone somewhere is doing exactly what they love to do, and it could be the same thing that you love doing, and they are making a living doing it, and you’re not.
Let that sink in.
8 What are my priorities?
It’s important to determine your priorities to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Too often, our priorities get put on the back burner because of other things. Look at your priorities and see how you can incorporate them back into your life.
9 What are my financial goals?
Do you even have any? Don’t be embarrassed if you don’t. I still struggle with that. I always say I want to be a millionaire, but don’t we all?
It’s crucial to set money goals. Many of us see our monthly income as the be-all to end-all, but could there be more? How much more money do you need to make to live the lifestyle you dream of?
10 What am I afraid of?
Identify your fears and find ways to overcome them so they don’t hold you back. Fear is crippling and will keep you from achieving greatness. Many of us are just afraid of failing.
There’s no such thing as failure. Either you win, or you learn. Face your fears and start jumping out of your comfort zone!
11 Who is important to me?
Think about the people who are important to you and how you can maintain and improve those relationships. Are you spending too much time with people who don’t matter (or respect/deserve your time) and not enough with the ones who do?
If you’re hanging on to toxic relationships, it may be time to rethink those. They do not serve you at all.
12 Where do I want to live?
First of all, you’re not stuck anywhere: you aren’t a tree.
I uprooted my entire life from Canada and moved to Guatemala 9 years ago because I was very clear about where I wanted to live and where I didn’t want to live.
If there is somewhere else you would rather live, figure out a way to make it happen. Everything is possible. Trust me on that.
13 What makes me unique?
Identify what sets you apart from others and use it to your advantage. Can you take a special gift or talent you have and do something fun and wonderful in your community? Or perhaps even make a career from it?
Jot down all the things that make you unique. The sky is the limit with your uniqueness!
14 What have I accomplished so far?
Reflect on your past accomplishments and feel good about what you’ve achieved. Too often, when we get stuck in life, we feel like a loser or a failure, but nothing can be further from the truth.
You’ve already done some really great things!
Is there something you’ve always wanted to accomplish and haven’t yet? What’s holding you back from that?
15 What can I do to improve myself?
Think about how you can improve yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. No one is perfect. We all have weaknesses and things we can work on to be better.
Self-improvement equals growth and a boost in self-confidence, self-worth, self-esteem, and so much more.
16 What can I do to help others?
Think about how you can use your skills and talents to impact others positively. What do you love to do and spend your time doing? When we make a difference in someone else’s life, it makes us feel amazing and worthy!
You can use one of your special gifts to help someone else. Remember, it’s a gift, and gifts are meant to be given away or shared.
17 What are my long-term goals?
Think about where you want to be in 5, 10, or even 20 years. This is so important. Without goals, we don’t progress.
Write out some of the goals you would like to achieve in one year, five years, or longer, but remember to make them realistic.
18 What are my short-term goals?
Think about what you can do right now to move towards your long-term goals. You won’t get unstuck if you don’t start taking action on some goals! Even little baby steps are better than nothing.
If you’re unsure of what those goals are, get out a pen and paper and jot them down so you can see them. Then, work toward achieving them.
19 Are there people in my life I need to let go of?
This is a tough one but a question that you absolutely must answer. Sometimes, the people in our lives hold us back from living the life we truly want and doing the things that bring us joy.
Take a few minutes to think about who no longer brings value to your life and has become toxic — it’s time to let them go.
20 Who can I turn to for support?
Don’t be afraid to seek support from family, friends, or professionals when needed. People don’t know you need help unless you ask. We aren’t mind readers.
Sometimes, it’s good to bounce ideas off someone else, and if you have really supportive friends and family, they will uplift you and encourage you!
People truly do want to help. All we have to do is ask.
