The other day, while I was taking my daily walk, I stopped by a second-hand store to see what kind of goodies they had. In my tiny town in Guatemala, it’s mostly second-hand stores and seriously, who doesn’t love a good bargain?
You can check out a little tour of my town here.
Anyway, they had some cute dresses hanging outside, among other great items. The dresses were super cute, not gonna lie, and it was in that moment that I realized they were way too ‘young’ for me.
Too young for me. I’m too old for them. I’m an old lady now, and I can’t wear cute, tight dresses anymore.
Did it make me sad? Not really. But it made me think about all the other things I’m ‘too old for’ and I thought I’d share them here with you today.
You also might like these fun articles on aging
- 10 Perks of Aging
- 13 Things That Put Me in Full-Blown Linda Blair Mode Now That I’m Over 60
- 10 Aging Myths That Can Go Straight to Hell
50 Things I’m Too Old For
- Stilettos
- Mini skirts
- Tight low-rise jeans
- Dating 23-year-olds
- Hangovers
- 12-hour LSD trips
- Tight little dresses
- Big 80s hair
- Midriff tops
- Short shorts
- Dealing with mouthy brats
- Standing in line for more than an hour anywhere, for anything, ever.
- Sleeping on air mattresses
- Camping in the bushes in a tent
- Going out AFTER 5 pm (I’m already in my jammies)
- Listening to gossip
- Bikini waxes
- Face full of makeup
- Dressing to impress anyone
- Caring if you like me or not
- Fine print (not sure why they do this)
- Loud club music
- Wasting my money on magic wrinkle creams
- Taking life advice from a 25-year-old ‘influencer’
- Keeping up with the Joneses
- Loud restaurants
- Sitting on the floor for longer than 5 minutes
- Facial piercings
- False eyelashes
- Getting new tattoos
- Hiking volcanoes
- Running marathons
- Eating after 9 pm
- Doing anything after 9 pm other than sleep
- Sleeping in til noon
- Understanding acronyms
- Caring what you had for dinner last night
- Eating spicy food
- Forgetting my daily vitamins
- Not keeping up with regular checkups
- Ignoring odd aches and pains
- Talking on the phone for hours
- Buying shoes because they’re ‘cute’, not comfortable
- Wasting money at the theatre on movie snacks
- Pretending I like you
- Dating sites
- Going sky-diving
- Going bungee jumping
- Wearing thongs
- Wearing bright coloured leggings with skulls on them.
The only list you’ll ever need
Did you agree with everything on this list, or were you yelling at me through your screen? I hope the only ones you agreed with were the health and attitude ones. You know, don’t ignore aches, take your vitamins, and never give a shit what people think of you, etc.
Those.
The rest? Listen — you’re a grown ass adult. You do what you want, when you want, with who you want, as often as you want. The only list you should be following is your grocery list and maybe your errands for the day.
Otherwise? Uh uh.
Life is too short to live by ‘society’s standards’. Set your own standards. Forge your own path. Dance to the beat of your own drum. Be your own person.
Life is too short to live with regret and to try to please others or not upset people. Go rock their world and show them how to live and what living is really all about.
For the love of God and everything holy, stop caring what people think and never let anyone tell you that you’re too old for anything, ever. You live out loud, babe!
ox iva xo
ox iva xo
