Little things used to piss me off, annoy me even a little. But now. Full-blown Linda Blair rage. I wonder, have people just become progressively more stupid or now that I’m old, I just notice these things more and have 0 patience?
And I’m talking about things like slow people walking in the aisle at the grocery store. sets.me.off
What’s happening to me?
Anyway, babbling about nothing annoys me, so let’s get to it.
13 things that piss me off now that I’m over 60
In no particular order of importance, here we go.
People who don’t know how to drive
Please, get off the road. Take a bus. Call a cab. Go get driving lessons. I don’t gaf what you gotta do, but do something. Fast.
I have a newsflash for you…you are a terrible driver and will one day cause a serious accident or throw someone in a road rage fit.
Blister packs
Dear Creators of these blister packs (medicine), stop it. Right now. Are you tripping? We’re sick, very sick. We have no strength, no energy, and absolutely 0 patience, and now we gotta fight with a 1 cm square piece of foil so I can get medicine.
Gtfo of here.
Have some compassion….geez.
Customer service robots
“Press 1 for billing. Press 2 for technical support. Press 3 to lose the last ounce of sanity you have.”
I know technology is supposed to make things easier, but nothing pisses me off more than having to shout “OPERATOR” into the phone over and over, only to be looped back to the same menu.
And then I’m finally connected to a human, and she’s sweet and bubbly, and I’m so fucking pissed off I want to rip her head off. Sorry Jenny. Tell your employer to fix the system.
Tiny print on bottles
Is this someone’s idea of a bad joke on all cranky old people? Come on. Why you gotta do that?
You know our eyesight is getting worse. You know 95% of us need reading glasses or cataract surgery. Like, you know all this. So, what’s up with the microscopic print?
It’s not necessary, and you’re evil.
Remote controls with 75 useless buttons, all in tiny print
Here are the buttons I need on my remote control:
- off
- on
- volume up
- volume down
- home
That’s it, that’s all. Can someone please poll us old folks and ask us what would make our lives easier as far as remote controls go?
We’ll tell you, 5 buttons and make them big.
Slow walkers in the grocery store aisles
So to be honest, I don’t really mind if you walk slowly in the grocery store, but can you NOT take up the whole aisle? Is that a big ask? I dunno. It feels like common sense to me.
I’m also gonna throw in slow drivers here. Use the right lane if you’re gonna drive under the speed limit, please.
Restaurants with loud music
Do restaurants do this so people will hurry up, eat their meal and get the fuck out so the next customers standing in line can sit down and eat? Ok, I get the marketing behind that, but where is the appreciation, understanding and caring of the customer in the first place?
Having to shout at my dinner companion while eating is gross and annoying. I don’t care how good your food is; it’s not worth it to me.
Plastic package that requires a skillsaw to open
What dafuk are you protecting these batteries from? The apocalypse? Satan? Sweet baby geezus.
Is it necessary to seal these so tightly that even Houdini can’t open them? I don’t get this one.
People who blast videos on their phones in public
I don’t need to listen to your TikTok feed for 10 minutes while I’m standing in line at the pharmacy. Headphones exist for a reason. Use them.
I swear, one day I’m just gonna grab their phone and toss it across the store. Smarten up!
Expensive razor blades
This will annoy me right up til the day I die or the day I no longer care to shave. Why, oh why, do I need to take out a loan to buy 3 little plastic things with tiny little blades on them to shave my pits?
Why? Someone tell me.
Technology updates
No no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooooooooooo. You JUST updated shit a month ago. It took me one week to figure out all the new updates and how to get back into my email.
What was wrong with the last update? And what are you updating now? How will it improve my life? Stop it. Can we limit those to once a year? I’d be happy with that.
People who call after 7 pm
Are you kidding right now? Do you know what time it is? You had all day to call me/text me. There is no reason for you to wait til the last minute to do so. I ain’t answering.
It’s almost my bedtime, I’m exhausted from having to deal with all this shit listed above – I assure you, I’m not in the mood to talk.
Leaving your grocery cart in the checkout lane
Yo, Felicia!! This belongs to you. Does it look like I work here?? Move your effing cart. I ain’t dealing with you and your nonsense today.
The world does not revolve around you. Trust me on that.
Those were the things that piss me off
What’s on your list? I’d love to see what I missed.
FYI. I’ve since been to the doctor and she’s put me on anti-raging, er, I mean hormone pills to make me a happier old gal. So far, they’re working!
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