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Toxic relationships can suck the life out of you, so it’s tough to heal from the trauma. Sometimes, you might want to give up because coping with it can be agonizing. However, many people can move on and live a much happier life, which means you can too.

Today, I want to share some tips on how to heal from a toxic relationship so you can move on and find some inner peace, self-worth, and self-love again.

The journey to complete detachment is long and arduous, but following some of these strategies makes managing your feelings much easier. Different things work for different people, so keep trying, and you’ll find your way.

In and Out of Toxic Relationships

My entire adult life was spent in and out of toxic relationships. I bounced from one abusive partner to the next without batting an eyelash or taking time to heal. To be honest, I had no idea how to heal from a toxic relationship.

I also didn’t realize that I was the issue. I had so much unhealed trauma from my childhood that I just kept looking for love. I would attach on to anyone who showed me any kind of attention.

It was pathetic.

I finally took the time to do some inner child healing work, which was exhausting but rewarding, and now I want to share these tips with you to help you heal from your toxic relationship so you can move on and be the best version of yourself, love yourself and never settle for less than you deserve, ever again.

How to Heal From a Toxic Relationship: 18 Helpful Tips

I hope you try to apply some or all of these techniques to your healing journey. These are the things I did that helped me heal and move on.

Acknowledge the Toxicity

The first step towards recovery is acknowledging that the relationship was toxic. This can be hard, especially if deeply invested in the person or situation. But admitting that harmful dynamics were at play is crucial for moving forward.

Recognizing toxic patterns might involve identifying constant criticism, manipulation, or disrespect that left you feeling undervalued or unloved. Understand that it’s about understanding what went wrong to avoid similar situations in the future.

Remember, it’s courage to acknowledge and break away from the toxicity.

Allow Yourself Time to Grieve

It’s important to give yourself time and space to grieve the loss of the relationship. You may feel various emotions, from anger and sadness to guilt and confusion. Let these feelings come and go without judgment.

Grieving is a natural part of the recovery process, and it’s essential to acknowledge this. It’s okay to miss the good times and mourn the dreams and plans that now seem lost.

Just remember, these feelings are temporary, and with time, they will lessen. This grieving period ultimately leads to acceptance, a vital step towards healing and recovery.

Avoid Toxic Positivity

One of the worst things you can do is be overly optimistic to the point that you’re being toxic by not acknowledging your feelings.  It makes you feel small and destroys your mental sanity. There’s no point in looking at the situation from a rosy lens because it was messy and hurt you.

While it’s essential to be positive in a time like this, it’s also important to remember that avoiding the situation using a cheerful facade will sooner or later lead to a massive meltdown.

Forget About Closure

With toxic relationships, you might never receive any form of apology or acknowledgment that the other person feels remorse for the pain they put you through. Having any such expectations from someone who hurt you will only lead to more agony.

If you want closure, you’ll have to look inside instead. You can write down exactly how you feel and what you’d say to the other person if they were here. Closure can also start with throwing away any items that had sentimental value in your relationship so you can leave it all in the past.

Seek Support

Don’t try to handle this alone. Reach out to trusted friends or family members, or consider therapy to help you process your emotions and experiences. Having a strong support system can make all the difference.

Support can also come in the form of support groups where you can connect with others who have experienced similar circumstances. This can be incredibly healing as it reminds you that you’re not alone in your journey. 

Get Professional Help

If nothing seems to work and you’re noticing how the breakup affects your day-to-day life for an extended period, it’s better to seek professional help. There’s a massive stigma around mental health in general, but don’t let that stop you from reaching out.

Whether you decide to pursue it in an online setting or something onsite, endless options are available to seek the help you need and re-discover the person you were before your ex came into your life. There’s nothing wrong with needing an extra nudge.

Stay Firm With Your Decision to Leave

Once you’ve decided to move forward with your life and left your ex behind, it’s essential to reinforce your decision and stick to it. Instead of falling back into the toxic cycle, stay focused on your goals and avoid situations that will make you reconsider.

There’s a reason you left them in the first place, so it’s vital to repeatedly remind yourself of those reasons to prevent relapse into the same toxicity.

Set Boundaries

In order to fully move on, it’s important to set clear boundaries with your toxic partner. This may mean cutting off all contact or limiting communication only to necessary matters. Don’t be afraid to prioritize your own well-being.

Establishing boundaries also includes determining how much of your ex-partner’s life you want to remain privy to. Resist the urge to check on them through social media; this can only impede your healing process.

Remember, these boundaries are not signs of animosity but symbols of self-love and self-respect. You are reclaiming your space and asserting your right to healing and happiness. This step is crucial for the transition from the past into a healthier, brighter future.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is crucial during this time. Take care of your physical and emotional needs by eating well, exercising, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to heal at your own pace.

This is also a great time to explore new hobbies or interests, something to keep your mind engaged and your spirits high. It could be as simple as starting a new book, taking up painting, or even learning a new instrument.

Remember, self-care isn’t always about doing something productive; sometimes, it’s just about doing something that makes you feel good. So, whether you’re taking a long bubble bath or spending an afternoon in your garden, make sure you’re taking the time for yourself.

This is your journey, and you’re in control.

Find a Hobby

Being distracted can do wonders and ease some pain, even for a limited time. You can discover new things to do, rekindle old interests, and pursue things you left behind. This is a great time to focus on yourself and make yourself the centerpiece of your life.

You’ve been through a lot, so you surely deserve it.

Hobbies don’t have to be big; they can be as small as starting a daily walk, playing a game on your phone, or enjoying your favorite coffee. Start small, take it easy, and you’ll see yourself heal.

Let Go of Blame

It’s easy to get caught up in blaming ourselves or our toxic partner for the relationship’s demise. However, holding onto blame only prolongs the healing process. Let go of any guilt or resentment and focus on moving forward.

View the end of the relationship as a learning experience that has taught you invaluable lessons about what you need and deserve from a partner. Acknowledge any mistakes made, learn from them, and use this knowledge to grow and make better choices in the future.

This positive outlook is a powerful tool that can drastically alter your healing journey, transforming it into a path of self-discovery and personal growth.

Make A Detailed Plan

This might seem like a bad idea, but trust me, it helps. When you feel out of control in such a situation, you feel anxious and panicked because there’s nothing you can do to change the problem, no matter how hard you try.

There is, however, a way to control these feelings.

Making a meticulous plan for transitioning into a single life can help you list actionable steps you can take. This can help you feel like things are still in your control and will allow you to cope with the anxiety of losing your partner.

Don’t Jump Into A New Relationship Prematurely

When you’re at a vulnerable point in your life and feel alone, it’s natural to want companionship. However, jumping into a new relationship so quickly after the first one is unfair to you and the person you will be dating.

They deserve your full attention and presence, and so do you.

Instead of focusing on a new partner, focus on the people you already have around you. Confide in your friends and family, and give yourself the space to heal before jumping onto the relationship bandwagon again.

Reflect on Lessons Learned

As difficult as it may be, try to reflect on what you learned from this toxic relationship. Were there warning signs you ignored? Did you compromise your values? Use these insights to grow and avoid similar situations in the future.

Ask yourself, “What strengths did you discover in yourself during the relationship and its aftermath?” This reflection isn’t about dwelling in self-pity or regret but about recognizing patterns and understanding your worth.

You’re not the same person who entered the relationship; you’re now stronger, wiser, and more resilient. Cherishing these lessons will not only help you avoid similar toxic situations in the future but also empower you to seek relationships that respect and celebrate who you truly are.

Remember, you’ve grown through what you’ve gone through, and that is a victory in itself.

Focus On The Present

While grieving, it can be easy to lose sight of what truly matters: the present. Worrying about the future won’t do you any good, and thinking about the past is an endless vortex you can’t escape,e so the best way to continue marching forward is to focus on the right now and live in the moment.

Now that you’ve left the toxic behind, your goal should be to focus on what you will do now. Live every day for what it is, and you’ll see a massive change in yourself.

Be Patient With Yourself

When you’ve been trying hard not to think about the situation or your ex or the trauma they caused, yet it still keeps coming back up, it can be frustrating. Some things in our environment can trigger us even if we’re not actively thinking about the situation.

To help yourself do better, you’ll have to be patient. To grow and conquer your fears and anxieties and move on from someone you loved who was terrible for you, you must allow yourself the space to breathe. Just be gentle with yourself.

Get Moving

Exercise releases endorphins that boost your mood and make you feel better. It’s hard to convince yourself to get out of bed, especially when you’re already sad, but when you overcome that barrier and start moving those muscles, you will feel much happier.

If working out alone isn’t working for you, you can ask some of your friends or join a group class to help you find a support system and motivate you to continue sweating to live a healthier life.

Surround Yourself With Positivity

Finally, surround yourself with positive influences. This can include supportive friends and family, uplifting music or books, and engaging in activities that bring you happiness. This will help you move forward and create a healthier, happier life for yourself.

Consider adopting new, positive habits that contribute to your well-being, such as meditation, yoga, or routine exercise. These habits can help you regain your sense of self, strengthen your mental health, and foster a positive outlook. 


Recovering from a toxic relationship is a challenging journey, but it will ultimately lead to a happier and healthier you. By following these steps and prioritizing your well-being, you can heal from the pain and move toward a brighter future.

Remember to be kind to yourself, let go of blame, and surround yourself with positivity. Most importantly, always remember you are strong enough to overcome any obstacle. Stay empowered and keep moving forward towards a more fulfilling life.

You deserve it.

ox iva xo

Author: Iva Ursano

Title: Writer

Expertise: Anti-Aging, Mental Health

Iva is a 60-something woman, originally from Northern Ontario, Canada, who now resides in sunny Guatemala. She helps women over 50 love the skin they're in and empowers them to live their best lives ever. When she's not blogging, she's out on her scooter feeding and rescuing street dogs.  

You can also check out her amazing eStore here. It is full of powerful self-help eBooks, personal development courses, and so much more—ALL at affordable prices!

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