Whether you’ve moved to a new city or country, started a new job or completely overhauled your life, it’s suffice to say that when you have to make friends in your 50’s, it can be a little challenging. I remember when I left Canada and moved to Guatemala I was scared and lonely for the first 6 months.
Now I’m normally not a shy person but I can be in a very new environment where I feel slightly overwhelmed. I also have a bit of a unique personality. I’m outgoing, happy, feisty and awkwardly shy. It’s a weird combo.
I get that some women have no problem at all making new friends but for the rest of us, well this one’s for you!
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It’s not easy to make friends in your 50’s
Especially if you’re shy and awkward like I am. Or maybe you don’t get out much. Could also be perhaps you have very different morals and standards than most and you want to hang with like minded people.
Whatever the case may be, I get you. It’s not very easy to make friends in your 50’s if you aren’t a social butterfly. Period.
Here in Guatemala (and I’ve been here now for 5 years) most of my friends hang out in bars and drink a lot. Well, I don’t really do either so that proved to be difficult. But I liked these friends! They were fun. So I only see them when I do decide to go to the bar.
Being a middle-aged woman with no friends can get lonely real fast and I had spent my first 6 months practically alone. Ba! I needed human interaction so I got a little bold and started looking for friends online.
The rest of my friends I actually met in Facebook groups! Yup. It’s super easy to meet new friends online especially if you just moved to a new area. You might like my video on YouTube on how to start over at 50. It’s just a fun channel for women over 50 so don’t forget to subscribe while you’re there!
How to meet new friends online in your area
Now despite the fact that covid has pretty much ruined life for everyone around the world, there’s still a wee bit of hope. You can still meet new friends online in your area. It’s easy to search and find groups on Facebook for women over 50 in your area (or any age really).
If you are an expat (or just moved to a new city in your state/province/etc), join groups in the new area you just moved to, introduce yourself and ask questions. People in expat community groups are always happy to help and answer questions and they are always up to meeting new people and making new friends!
With that little piece of info, you can most certainly meet new friends online in your area.
How to meet new friends in your area
So let’s say you aren’t on Facebook or too tech savvy and you still are struggling to meet new friends in your area. Let me share a funny story with you.
When I moved to Mexico for a year I didn’t really have any female friends my age but I had a couple. One day when I was at the pharmacy I was standing beside a woman who was clearly an expat (she was def not Mexican) and I asked her where I could find a particular service.
Well we got chatting and before you know it an hour went by and we were exchanging phone numbers. And yes, we became friends! So sometimes it can be as simple and innocent as striking up a conversation with another woman and before you know it, poof! You’re friends 🙂
Being a middle-aged woman with no friends can be lonely
I mean I really do enjoy being by myself, I truly do like my alone time but I have to admit, being a middle-aged woman with no friends can definitely be really lonely at times.
There were times when I wish I had someone to go have coffee or lunch with, laugh with, share personal stories with and all that other fun stuff. And there were times I was grateful to be alone and thank God I enjoy my own company. But we don’t want to be alone all the time and it’s not healthy either.
Mental stimulation, though you can surely get it from reading and watching interesting programs on TV, is best when it comes from another human, in person. But not only that, if we don’t have or make any new friends and we become lonely, it can possibly lead to depression.
We don’t want that to happen. We definitely don’t want our golden years to be filled with sadness and loneliness.
How to make friends in your 50’s-10 things to do now
I think the most important thing to keep in mind is to not sacrifice your values/morals or standards just because you’re lonely. You won’t make good friends that way and chances are, the people you do meet and want to be friends with you just may be toxic.
We’re too old for that nonsense. We want quality friendships. Never sacrifice who you are because you want to make friends after 50 and you think you have to settle for shitty friendships. Don’t ever do that.
Here are a few tips on how to make friends in your 50’s:
1 Get out of your comfort zone
Start going to events or things on your own and meeting new people that way. Yes, it will be hard, especially if you are somewhat shy but you have to get out of your comfort zone and be a little brave sometimes. People often tend to be accepting and welcoming as we get older.
2 Strike up a conversation
Like literally a random conversation with someone at the grocery store (or pharmacy like I did) and introduce yourself. Yes it may seem weird but remember, if you are new to a town and have no friends, people don’t know that unless you tell them. And striking up a conversation is a lot easier than you think it is!
3 Join Facebook groups
If you’re on Facebook, go find groups in your area that have like minded members and start asking some questions and let people know what you are looking for. I’ve met most of my friends here from the local group! Your next best friend could be in one of those groups!
By far, this is the best way to meet like minded people because you are going to a place to volunteer with other people who think just like you. Isn’t that awesome!! Find an organization that speaks to your heart and you will definitely meet like minded people there!
5 Join Church groups
(if that’s your thing) and again, let people know you’re new. Or maybe a Bible study group or whatever thing like that you are interested in. Maybe you’re into new age stuff. Go back to those Facebook groups or check online in your area and see what comes up.
6 Pick up a fun part time job
Are you a crafty artsy fartsy kinda gal? See if you can pick up a part time job at a craft store or maybe even a coffee shop. You can certainly meet new people that way.
7 Ask around at the local convenience store
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. This works for everything. Don’t be so shy that you can’t ask at a cafe, or while you’re standing in line at a store somewhere, to see if there are meet up groups in your area for women your age. If there aren’t maybe you should start one!
8 Check out your neighbours
(but not in a creepy way) and see if any are your age. Go introduce yourself to them or make sure to say hi to them on the street. Striking up a conversation will go a long way. Go for walks in your area park and talk to the people there.
9 Don’t be so shy
I know it’s easier said than done but find your voice more and start talking to people. I mean women your age most likely will be very lovely anyway and probably very happy to talk to you! Practice using your voice at home. Look in the mirror and practice introducing yourself. Just make sure to BE yourself.
Which leads us to the last tip…
10 Be yourself
Don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress people so they will be your friend. Just be yourself and you will find the right people who will appreciate you for you. You don’t want or need fake friends. You want true kindred spirit soul friends. Especially at this age. We don’t have time for crap anymore!
You can make friends after 50, if you want to
If you want to. Did you catch that last bit? If you want to make friends in your 50’s you can but they aren’t going to just come pounding on your door. You do have to be proactive and put some work into it but if you follow some of the tips I listed above you’ll be sitting at a cafe with your new friends in no time.
Remember don’t settle for shitty coffee or shitty friends. We’re past that now. You will definitely find like minded women over 50 if you put yourself out there and seek them.
xo iva xo