11 Things Women Need to Stop Apologizing For

Being a Canadian living in another country, one of the hardest things for me to let go of was my need to apologize constantly. We say sorry for everything. all.the.time. And we do it with a smile.

We’re a rare and special lot.

I’ll be honest: I still catch myself saying, “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry,” even for the smallest things. What I don’t say sorry for anymore are the following 11 things, and I’m sure there are many more, but for simplicity’s sake, I’ve kept this to 11.

Why do we have to be perfect?

I’m not sure when it began. The need for perfection. The competition to be prettier, smarter, sexier, more popular, better than the next woman. To have the perfect husband, the best kids in the world, the nicest body/hair/skin/teeth/etc., the nicest house, car, biggest pool, the most successful business, best career.

When did this start?

Why do we feel we have to outshine everyone?

Who are we trying to impress, but most importantly, why? Why are we desperately trying to impress people who don’t really matter at any cost?

Maybe not impressed. Please. We’re trying to please everyone. We want everyone to like us and not upset the apple cart.

I used to do this. I did everything and anything I could to show people I was awesome, successful, the smartest, prettiest, you name it, I did it.

Today? I don’t care so much anymore. You like me? Great. You don’t like me? That’s great too. Whatever. You think I’m awesome? That’s great. You don’t. Phfft. Could.not.care.less.

It took a long time for me to get to where I am now. That ‘not really giving a fuck’ phase in my life. I had to lose an awful lot of self-respect, self-confidence, courage, and so much more to finally realize at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter.

And I stopped apologizing. For all these things. And then some.

11 Things Women Need to Stop Apologizing For

I’m gonna say that the first one really is the one that annoys me the most.

1 For your house being messy.

Please stop doing that. Please. It’s your house. This is your private and personal space. It’s the only place where you can be yourself and not have to prove anything to anyone.

I showed up unannounced for something. Do NOT apologize for the condition of your house.

2 For being too sensitive/emotional.

It’s like apologizing for who you are. Why would you do that? You’re sensitive, empathic, emotional, sappy, whatever. That’s you, girl!!

Don’t say sorry for having a heart and feelings.

3 For being loud, hyper, and extroverted.

You are loud, vibrant, and full of life. You light up a room when you walk in. Some people are annoyed by you; others are intimidated by you. And that’s not your problem, that’s theirs.

Just keep being you, girl!

4 For your husband’s/boyfriend’s/partner’s rude behavior.

This one makes me mad. If your partner is an asshole, that’s not your problem. Well, not directly. You absolutely should never apologize for anyone’s behavior other than your own.

They are responsible for their behavior and apologies, not you. Cut it out.

5 The way you look.

There’s a funny meme that goes around every now and then. When you are dressed like a rock star, you see no one, but the minute you run into Walmart looking like death warmed over, you run into EVERYONE you know. 🤣 Who cares?

Don’t apologize for the way you look. Some people are just happy to see you, no matter what you look like. Remember that.

6 For setting boundaries.

Just set them. No need for explanations, apologies, nudda. No one has the right to walk all over you or disrespect you, and if they have been, and you’re tired of it, draw that line nice and thick.

People aren’t stupid. They’ll catch on right quick.

7 For saying “No.”

No is a complete and whole sentence. No apology needs to follow it. Just no. No, I can’t help you. No, I don’t want to come. No, I can’t lend you that. No, no, no, no, no.

When you say No, you give others a chance to say Yes. I love how that works.

8 For swearing.

If you wanna drop eff bombs like a drunken sailor, knock your socks off but don’t apologize afterward. Again, that’s like apologizing for who you are. Why would you do that? Are you ashamed of who you are?

Never apologize for who you are. It lets the whole world down. ~ Jen Sincero

9 For your religion/what you believe in.

I don’t care if you pray to God, The Great Pumpkin, or Santa Claus; your beliefs are your business. If you have strong faith and don’t partake in certain activities because of it, don’t ever apologize for that.

If you stand up for something or someone, don’t apologize for that, either!

10 For offending someone.

Now I don’t mean being rude. That’s not acceptable. I mean, if you said something to someone and it offended them, that’s on them, not you. I love this quote by Anne Landers (I think it was her who said it)

“To be irritated by criticism is to acknowledge it’s deserved.”

You are not responsible for other people’s feelings. Gosh, we’d all walk on eggshells if that was the case. No thanx.

11 Using your voice.

Speak out! If you see an injustice or feel the need to use your voice, use it and do not apologize for it. You are probably saying what most people only think but don’t have the balls to say!

Find that voice and use it. Often. Be the voice for others while you’re at it.