Do you remember hearing this when you were 10, 12, 15, or maybe 18 years old? “Grow up! Act your age, not your shoe size”.
Ring a bell?
Grow up. I was always so confused by that. I never knew how to act and I certainly didn’t understand ‘act your age’.
Can’t I just act the way I feel?
And then it stopped. Between 20 and 45, no one cared. You just acted any way you wanted to, as long as it felt right and you weren’t either breaking the law or hurting anyone.
I mean, let’s face it, in that age range, you’re dealing with so much.
College, a career, childbirth, marriage, divorce, what sex do I want to be, alcoholism, prescription drugs, an economic crash, covid, a mortgage, job loss, ooph.
Need I go on?
It didn’t fucking matter what age you acted as long as you survived. That was the goal. To make it through and out of your 40s with style, grace, and all your marbles still rolling in the right direction.
Once you hit your 50’s, well, that’s when this life shit gets real serious…or not. Depends on who you ask, I guess.
By now, if you survived life up to this point without becoming an alcoholic or a drug addict, then you, my friend, deserve a medal.
I jest (or am I?).
We Made It This Far
We did. Here we are. In our 50s, some of you may be in your 60s, 70s, or 80s. Here we are.
Trying to make it through the day without snapping and still trying to figure out how to act our age.
I have a news flash for you.
Don’t.
Stop trying to figure it out. Stop trying to fit in with other women (or men) your age.
Stop comparing yourself to Margaret or Betty, John or Gerald.
Just be yourself.
I know it sounds crazy right.?
The other day, I sat quietly wondering if I was acting age-appropriate until it dawned on me. I have no idea what that means.
How are 50+-year-old people supposed to act?
Where’s the “How to Act Your Age” manual? Whose example are we to be following?
Are we just supposed to ‘follow the crowd’ and assume we’re behaving age-appropriate?
I can’t even.
So check this out. An article I wrote recently got some backlash from … some dude. Some judgemental dude? I’ll call him Dan, though his real name is Robert.
I actually blocked him because he’s so toxic there’s absolutely no place in my life for any of his BS… (btw, you can block and delete toxic people — try it, it’s good for the soul).
So, according to Dan, after the age of 50, you shouldn’t swear. (Huh?) Or wait, it means you are not kind and uncaring. (Wait.What?)
Show me where it says that in the “How to Act Your Age” manual. I wanna see it.
But that’s not the first time I’ve heard that women over 50 shouldn’t swear. Why do people keep saying that? Who told you it was inappropriate?
Where does it say that? Can someone show me, please?
I imagine the excerpt would read something like this:
At the stroke of midnight on your birthday, when you enter your 50th year, you are to never swear again. Any person over 50 caught using vulgar language in a public place will be ordered to drink a full bottle of Frank’s Red Hot Sauce.
This? Colour me clueless on this one.
Ok, so what other things are inappropriate for over 50-year-olds? I have no idea. I’ll need people like Dan to guide me through the rest of my life, apparently.
You know, just to make sure I’m acting my age.
Are we supposed to be ‘grown up or mature’?
What does that even look like? Mature?
Can’t I just be me? Can’t I just act the way my soul wants to express itself? Sounds like a no-brainer to me. I mean, why would I want to behave like everyone else?
Sounds boring to me.
My mind isn’t catching up to my aging body at all. My mind and spirit still think they are 12 on some days, 16 on other days, and some days they think they are 25 or 30.
But 60? Never.
We’re not even sure what that looks like or how to act 60. We’ve never been this age before.
Cruising through life
I’m just cruising through life with joy, trying to make the world a better place all the while enjoying the heck out of each day I get.
I ride my scooter (which, by the way, is decorated with inspirational stickers) with earbuds and sing at the top of my lungs. I know, so immature. “Grow up Iva, geezus”
I swear, I sing in the shower, in my house, out in the yard, I dance when I feel like it.
I have a skip in my step most days, I play with street dogs, I chase puppies.
I wear my hair long, some days it’s up some days it’s down. I dress in a way that is comfortable for me, no one else.
I’m inked a lot and probably not done.
I still splash in puddles and eat candy ( I know, bad, Iva, bad). I still sleep in like a teenager on some days. On other days I’m up at the butt crack of stupid o’clock.
I like watching hot, sweaty men beat the crap out of each other (UFC, Vikings — anyone?)
I have a ridiculous sense of humor which can be definitely considered vulgar or inappropriate — tee hee 🤭
Don’t like it? I don’t give a %#^$ Margaret.
I do things that bring me joy. A lot of joy. A lot of the things I do bring other people joy, too! That makes me happy.
I don’t care what people think. At all. Ever.
Am I acting 60? No. I’m acting Iva. Ageless Iva.
I’m acting exactly the way I want to: no rules, no barriers, no manual. It’s crazy, I know. It freaks me out, too. The fact that I’m just cruising through life unsupervised with no “How to Act Your Age” manual.
The horror!
But why do people expect us to act a certain way once we hit 50? Why are we suddenly supposed to grow up?
You want me to set an example? Gladly.
Dance to the beat of your own drum. Wear whatever the hell you want to wear. Do what makes your heart happy. Stop doing whatever doesn’t bring you joy.
Find and use your voice more often. Say YES to more adventures and opportunities, say NO when you really mean NO!!
Stop following the crowd. Be your own leader. Follow your heart. Did I already say that? I’ll say it again. Follow your heart. I mean it. I mean it so much.
Life is confusing enough as it is without trying to please other people. Gosh please stop doing that.
Stop letting society tell you how to act, dress, look, behave, bla bla bla…half of society doesn’t even have their shit together. You’re going to rely on these people to dictate how you should live your life?
Seriously. Stop.
Throw away your birth certificate. Stop letting the numbers decide how you should act.
You act exactly the way YOU want to act, no matter what age that might look like. If it brings you joy, you’re on the right track. Do more of that.
ox iva xo
