I wonder, is it only women who do this or do men do this too? Compare yourself to others. It’s such a negative toxic trait. Today we’re going to discuss how to stop comparing yourself to others so you can stop being so hard on yourself and enjoy life!
So many of us have been doing this all our lives. From an early age we were told to “stop acting out” or “be more like your sister/brother” or “why can’t you be like the girl down the street”.
We’ve always had that not good enough mentality and we’ve forever been competing and comparing ourselves to others.
So you see for some of us, we simply grew up with those toxic limiting beliefs. The rest of us may have picked them up as we got older and felt not good enough.
Whatever the case may be, I’m here to help you!
Why do you keep comparing yourself to others?
The answer to this question might surprise you.
In this age of social media, reels, TikTok videos, YouTube shorts it’s hard to not see all the filters and women who look stunning and gorgeous, even some without filters.
“How can she look so beautiful at her age? Surely she must have had cosmetic surgery or something!!”
And then we start comparing ourself to that beautiful woman.
The internet is full of vids and images that make us feel we are old, ugly, fat, worthless, wrinkly and that we don’t matter anymore and that we’re washed up and useless. I know that sounds harsh but I’m just painting a picture here of what social media has done to so many of us.
But it’s not just our self image but also our self worth goes through this. We feel not good enough, worthless, like everyone else is better than us or farther ahead on their path than we are.
It’s all toxic not to mention that it sure does kick your self confidence and self esteem to the curb. Oy. Who needs all that crap? Women are so hard on themselves. We seriously need to be gentler with ourselves and more loving and compassionate.
So why do you keep comparing ourselves to others?
It’s all about self worth, well mostly. We want to be just as great, wealthy, beautiful, successful, well respected, well liked, etc as our neighbour and we feel we aren’t. We have put our values and worth up against Felicia and we lost.
Or did you?
How do you stop comparing yourself to others and being jealous?
So this is where it gets good.
It doesn’t have to always be that way. Your self confidence, self esteem, self worth need a kick in the pants and I’m happy to give it to you.
There used to be a time I compared myself to everyone and thought I was the biggest loser and I was ugly and would never succeed or have a happy life.
Oh ya. It was bad. I was pathetic. I had the worst self esteem and self worth you can possibly imagine. But I started doing some inner work. Healing if you will. I had so many a-ha moments. So many realizations. Light bulbs went off all over the place in my head and I finally got it.
I’m going to share with you 7 tips to help you stop comparing yourself to others and to remind yourself that you are da bomb!
How to stop comparing yourself to others in 7 simple tips
Before I share my tips with you please do check out my self improvement courses and self help books for women over in my awesome self help store. Click here to see what’s in store for you today!
Here we go…
1 Remember how far you’ve come
It’s easy to point at someone and think they are better than you but chances are, they probably aren’t. Take a few minutes to look back at all you’ve accomplished and how much you’ve done in your life.
List all the things, big and small.
Read your list back to yourself and then give yourself a big hug. Girl, you’re amazing!!! Don’t ever forget that
2 Unplug from social media
If social media has become your nemesis, it may be time to do a little social media detox. If you find yourself getting irritated or jealous by some of the vids you are watching or the reels, it’s time to turn it off.
Instead, use that time to work on yourself.
Meditating is great, as is yoga or simply going outside for a walk! There are a million other things you could be doing besides feeling like crap while scrolling through IG or Facebook. Do yourself a favour, set a timer to unplug and do fun things!
3 Talk out your feelings
Find a friend to talk to and discuss what you’re going through. She may either help you or she may admit to feeling the same and you end both helping and empowering each other. Win win!!
Call a friend, make a coffee date!
When we hold things inside, they eventually become so toxic and unbearable to carry that we become full of anger hate and resentment. Don’t do that. Get it all off your chest.
4 Try the superhero technique
Be your own superhero, minus the cape of course (I mean, if you wanna wear the cape who am I stop you?). Look in the mirror and remind yourself how absolutely beautiful and magnificent you are.
It’s fun, I promise, albeit, a little awkward at first.
Remind yourself of all the great things you’ve done. Do some positive self talk mirror work. It really is empowering.
You can look in the mirror and say to yourself something like this
“I know Felicia is awesome BUT so am I!!! We can both be awesome and amazing in our own unique ways”yourself!
A simple statement like that is very powerful. Try it and let me know in the comments below how you made out!
5 Use your jealousy to fuel your fire
This may sound a little odd and maybe even a tad bit catty but trust me, it’s not! I think it may be called reverse psychology that you do on yourself (or something like that!) If you think Felicia is all that and a bag of chips then you can tell yourself that you can be just as great as her.
Watch me! I can do those things too!
If she’s in shape and healthy then you can use that as motivation to get into shape!! Start eating healthier, take more supplements, work out more, whatever! Use her as motivation and start taking action to improve your life!!!
6 Remind yourself we all have a story
You can’t judge someone’s story by the chapter you walked in on. Read that line again. Everyone has a story, right? So do you. Not everyone had a beautiful story, actually, most likely they didn’t.
We don’t know the troubles they had to endure for them to get to where they are now.
Don’t forget that. Someone out there is probably jealous of you and is comparing her life to yours. Sounds ridiculous right? But it’s true. We all have a story that got us to where we are now. You can’t compare yourself to that person.
7 Write yourself a love letter
Corny? Yes. Effective? Also yes. I love doing this and still to this day will write myself love letters if for some reason I’m feeling low or not so worthy. These are so therapeutic. We often forget the power of writing.
I call in bleeding ink.
In your letter, write out all the amazing things about yourself, physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, all of it. Maybe you love your eyes, or your laugh. Or maybe you like the way people love and trust you and can confide in you. Write it all out!!
Stop comparing yourself to others quotes
I thought I would end this inspirational article with some stop comparing yourself to others quotes. I hope these quotes help you just a wee bit. I also hope the tips I shared with you help you too!!
If they did, please don’t forget to share this! Sharing is caring.
The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday
To be yourself is the most beautiful thing you can be
Don’t compare yourself to others. There is no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because it’s fake
Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours.
I hope you enjoyed this post.