Can you handle another listicle on aging? Sure, you can. You know what’s really funny, before we get into this, is that I never thought in a million years I’d be sitting at my comp writing about aging.
Not once. Never crossed my mind. I just thought I would blow sunshine up people’s butts until I died. Boy, was I wrong.
So, here we are with yet another fun “omg I’m fucking old now” article. Not only am I writing about different things now, I even rebranded my YouTube channel to reflect the fact that i’m old and only talking to old people now.
We went from Women Blazing Trails to Real Life Over 60 and to be honest, I kinda like it!
The other day, I was in an over-60 Reddit thread ( I still can’t believe I’m over 60 — like when did that happen?) and we were talking about things we just don’t give a shit about, and I was like, “OMG I found my people. They’re all in Reddit.”
It was a glorious moment.
Anyway, I realized, it’s not just me. So many people out there feel the same. Here are the top 10 things I’m too old for, have 0 tolerance for, can’t be bothered to pretend I like and really don’t give a shit about.
In no particular order of importance…
10 things i’m too old for and too tired to give a shit about
At the top of the list is that image. Did you have a good look at it? AI-generated. There’s a random hand with only 3 fingers coming out of absolutely nowhere, and you know what? I don’t give a shit how wrong this image is.
It’s funny and ridiculously awkward, just like AI.
Ok, so let’s move on to things I’m too old to care about or pretend to want to like.
🟡Small Talk
“Nice weather we’re having.”
Wait, what? Sure. Is it? I don’t care.
Ok. I know, I know. People are just trying to be polite to the old person. I get it. But let me fill you in on a little secret…small talk bores us. Let’s talk about the Cadbury secret, or one place on earth you’d love to visit.
🟡 Networking Events
If you still have to go to these, I’m sorry. I think back to all the ones I had to endure when I was building my online business back when I still lived in Canada, and oh…em…gee….shoot me now.
All those pretentious people going on and on about how they’re ‘crushing’ the 4th quarter. Whatever. No, you’re not. You’re running on caffeine, a hope and a prayer while eating KD.
Stop.
🟡 Unwanted Advice
Wait. Stop. Did I ask for your advice on my hair/clothes/shoes/dating/etc? I’m pretty sure I didn’t. Do I look like I need help or advice?
I don’t. Honestly, I’m pretty happy in my own skin. And no, I don’t need the name of your plastic surgeon.
Is that a hint? Rude!
🟡Ridiculously Priced Anti-Aging Cream That Does Nothing
If this shit is $150, it better also massage my feet, cook my breakfast and do the dishes. Are you kidding me right now?
All those magic potions in those gold-rimmed fancy bottles that promise to make you “look 20 years younger in 10 days”. The only thing they do is make your bank account smaller.
I’ll pass. Castor oil and rosehip oil are working wonders on my aging skin by the way.
🟡Pretending I Don’t Swear
I’m a grown-ass woman. I’m not gonna say ‘fudge’ (unless there are children around or a priest) when a good solid ‘fuck’ does the trick.
And please don’t tell me to act my age or that I have no class because I swear.
Newsflash for you, I don’t gaf.
🟡Being “Nice” to People Who Suck the Soul From Me
Done. So done. Adios. Buh buy. I did that my entire life, and I have no desire to continue to do this. If you even start any bullshit with me, I’m out in a nanosecond.
I ain’t anyone’s doormat anymore. Oh, I blocked you? Ya. It’s called boundaries, babe.
🟡 Going Out After 5 pm
IYKYK.
Man, we’ve already removed our bras (if we even still wear them) by 3 pm. We ain’t going anywhere after 5.
If I say, “Oh, maybe, we’ll see, I’ll let you know”, that’s a sure-fire “hell no I ain’t going anywhere”.
🟡The Latest Plastic Surgery Trend
No, no, no no, no. I got better things to do with my money than spend it on my face so I can have frozen eyebrows, cat eyes and swollen lips.
Hard pass. I’m not about hiding my age and looking 25 for as long as I can. I’m aging my way and doing a pretty good job of it.
Thanx anyway.
🟡Gossip
You got the wrong girl. Run along. There may have been a time when I used to love juicy gossip. Who’s banging who, who left who, who said what…bla bla bla.
Now? Nope. I could not care less, and it’s none of my business. And by the way, it’s none of your business either.
I seriously just don’t have the mental bandwidth to give a shit about Sally’s sex life when mine is practically non-existent.
🟡Fashion Trends
For real. You think I’m gonna start caring about the latest trends for women over 60? Have you seen what I wear lately? That’s trendy enough for me.
You’d be hard-pressed to find very many women over 60 who care about this. Oh, they’re out there, but don’t ask me where to find them. Insta maybe?
Colour me clueless on that.
Before I go…
Can you add anything to this list? Dumb question, I’m sure you can, and I’d love to see what you come up with!
And before I go, two things:
- Don’t forget to sign up for my awesome newsletter here (I’ll give you a free thing for doing so), and
- I created a really awesome aging guide (and I mean AWE-some) that I’d love for you to check out…You can check it out here and use coupon code AGEWELL60 at checkout for a great discount!
until soon
xo iva xo
